Sokka Situations
by kasplosion
Summary: A collection of oneshots circling around a certain Water Tribe warrior's crazy schemes and situations. Latest: Court Case; Because Sokka's had enough.
1. Cups of Discomfort

**A/N: Hi! Here's my first posted fanfic! And I imagine Sokka would handle this situation some what the same as I interpreted it.**

**Disclaimer: I'll own Avatar when I become normal.

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"Would you like to go out tonight?" That's all he had to say. But instead a simple question turned into a ten minute conversation with a confused Kyoshi Warrior. Luckily, Sokka got the message across, and Suki agreed to meet him at a the Cups of Comfort for a cup of tea that night.

Walking back to the apartment, Sokka was giving himself a good scolding. "Stupid. Stupid. Stupid." The marketplace he was passing through was so loud and bustling with merchants and buyers, that no one would notice a yelling teenage boy. "Would you like to go out tonight?" It sounded like he was asking within earshot out on a date. Or a nearby peppy, pink clothed teen.

"Sure!" She answered. "Where? When?" She seemed to ignore the regretful look on Sokka's face.

"Uh…," Sokka started. How was he supposed to know one of Azula's minions were in Ba Sing Se? "Uh…"

"Is that a tea shop? I never hear of it."

"Ty Lee… Uh…," he started. Getting out of this would be tough. "Ty Lee. Uh. Well. Actually, I said: 'Would you like to eat out tonight?'" The words spat out of his mouth before he could swallow and digest them.

"Oh. What's the difference?" She questioned dumbly. "You haven't thought this out have you? How 'bout the Cups of Comfort tonight?"

"Uh… Actua--,"

"It's a date!" Ty Lee announced and skipped away leaving a dumb founded Sokka.

"Great, juuust great," he muttered, slapping himself on the forehead.

Back at the apartment, Sokka fixed his ponytail hair and slipped on a cleaner pair of clothes, also some sweet smelling liquid was slapped onto his neck and face. He wasn't particulary nervous; he only had two dates the same night, the same shop, one of which he hardly even knew! The other's reaction would decide the rest of his relationship with her! Pacing the floor of his room, sweat stains began to form on Sokka's once clean shirt.

"I can fix this. Yup. Sure can. Go to the Cups of Comfort and tell Ty Lee the truth. Then, have a nice cup of tea with Suki. Yup. Everything's gonna work out fine…" He assured himself.

Once a sweat free shirt was clinging to his body, Sokka sneaked out of his room. He was about to step out of the house, when a door slammed and he heard light footsteps. _Please no Katara. Please._ _Just make a run—_

"Where you goin'?"

Sokka jumped, the turned to see his captor. "Oh! Toph, it's just you. I thought Katara was home…" No doubt did Sokka have if his little sister found out about this situation, that she would lecture him on how girls should't be treated this way. _Blah, blah, blah._

The blind girl walked up to him and sniffed. "Nope. She went to a marketplace with Twinkletoes." Her face seemed to cringe at a stench. " Gross, man-perfume. Got a hot date?"

He thought of a full proof excuse in seconds, but then realized it was no use in lying to Toph. "Two, actually. Don't tell Katara, okay?"

She stifled a snort. "I'll keep this secret to myself if you let me… observe your dates."

"What? No way!"

"Fine, but know that I know exactly where Sugar Queen and Baldy are and I might just run into them and my mouth might slip." Toph smirked like a tiger when cornering lunch.

"I hate you." And with that the duo made their through the late hours of the evening to the tea shop.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Toph waved off. " 'Course I'll need a cup of Momo Tea!"

Sokka wished, hoped, and prayed to the spirits for a full house at the Cups of Comfort. Unfortunetly for him, the spirits put Sokka on their "To Do List."

"Great, reeal great," he whined when many tea tables around the shop where empty. "Toph just go sit over there." He pointed to a vacant table in the corner, but when Toph didn't move a muscle he noticed his mistake. "At the empty table in the corner. And keep your big mouth shut."

"I still want that Momo Tea." Toph walked to the table, and plopped herself into a chair.

Sokka searched the shop for his dates. "It's not like we get paid to kick Fire Nation butt." And that's when pink girl strolled in. Seriously, it looked as if every pink piece of clothing the world had to offer was eating her skin. "Ty Lee!" he waved her to another empty table and pulled out a chair facing the wall. "Listen. Here's the--,"

"You look good in blue. But pink is much better for your tone of skin," Ty Lee took of a pink hat that she had been wearing, and pushed onto Sokka's skull.

He could imagine his reflection in a mirror from one that might be at a carnival. "Yeah. Thanks. But listen--,"

A make-up less Suki walked through the door and settled herself on the opposite side of the shop.

"I need to use the bathroom!" Sokka quickly stated and walked over to Suki.

"Sokka!" She greeted, then gave his an affectionate hug.

"Hey, Suki!" He plastered a scary-happy expression onto his face.

"What's with your face?"

Sokka quickly changed his expression to a "normal" one. "Nothing. Ahem… What tea would you like?"

"Leeche is my favorite."

"Alright! You got it! Be right back!" He ran off to explain things with Ty Lee.

Ty Lee questioned a heavily breathing Sokka, "Can I get some yummu Jasmine Tea?"

"Sure. Yep." He went over to the counter and told the waiter: "Leeche Tea there" he pointed to Pinky "And Jasmine there" pointing to the warrior. Sokka was so out of breath he didn't even notice his own mistake. "This is under control." He reassured himself as he walked back to Suki.

"The tea is on its way!" Sokka announced to her.

"Great!" She replied. "How's Aang?"

"Huh? Oh! He's fine. Doing some Avatar Spirit stuff most of the time."

With a sorrowful look on her face, Suki said, "Seems like he needs some time off. A vacation."

"Vactaion from being the all mighty Avatar. What a sight that would be," Sokka replied spitefully. "Besides, Aang's at a marketplace with Katara right now." He looked over Suki's shoulder at Ty Lee who was fixing her pink ensamble.

"Really?" Her face with no signs of Kyoshi make up, lit up and changed to a happy one. "Well that's good."

Sokka turned to her with a puzzled expression. "What do you mean by--," He saw out of the corner of his eye Ty Lee getting up from her chair and scanning the shop for a certain teenager. "Hold on a sec!"

As he made his way across the small tea shop he grabbed Ty Lee and smushed her back into the chair. "Where're you going? The tea's here!" Sokka realized what a big mistake he had just made by not letting Ty Lee leave.

The waiter came up to their table and poured a piping hot liquid from a large tea pot into small 'cups of comfort.' "Enjoy!" He said departing with a slight bow.

Sokka took a sip from his cup, and sighed with relief. _Thank the spirits for tea._

"This isn't my yummy Jasmine Tea! It's yucky Leeche Juice!" Ty Lee complained after drowning down the whole cup of tea and then hacking up storm.

"Oops! Sorry. I can fix that!"

He got up and walked to the counter and ordered Jasmine Tea for Ty Lee. _Why am I doing this? _He wondered. J_ust tell her to leave and go on with my complicated life!_

His eyes wondered over to a lonely Toph in the corner. "Where is my Momo Tea!?" She asked without words pouring out like tea from her mouth.

Sokka ignored his friend, but did shoot a horrifing I'm-going-to-kill-you-if-your-big-mouth-opens glare that he knew Toph couldn't see.

As, Sokka was about to notify Ty Lee, he saw that the same waiter that poured the Leeche Tea was emitting Jasmine Tea into two tea cups. Dashing over to Suki, he thought up a quick-witted excuse.

He sat down in his chair and swallowed the Jasmine Tea. "Excuse me, waiter." Sokka waved for the waiter to come back. "I mistakenly asked for Jasmine Tea, and my friend absolutely loves Leeche. Would you mind fixing this? Thanks."

"Just right now, your voice sounded just like Katara's. Coated with sugar," Suki commented when the waiter stormed off muttering about some guy with two dates and too many cups of tea.

Sokka cringed with guilt. Oh how his conscience began to scold him. _You should've told Pinky the deal, and then maybe you wouldn't be in this situation! _"I know, I know!" He thought out loud.

"Excuse me?" Suki gave an inquiring look to Sokka.

"What?" Sokka came rushing back to his dates. "Oh. I know. Sometimes I like to mimic Katara and her sweet voice. Heh, heh, heh…"

"Oh. Well, you had better not pretend to be her, while she's around." Suki warned wagging a finger. "You probably know what would happen."

Another pang of guilt shot Sokka. "Katara would proably shout at me, then clear her throat and began an annoying, but nessacery lecture on how that treating girls--. I mean mimicking her is rude and my act sounded nothing like her."

"Sooka? Sooka?" He heard the familiar voice of Ty Lee ringing in his ears. Sokka looked at Pinky. "Shoot," he cursed to himself. "I'm going to see what's taking that tea so long!" And quick as a cheetah-bird, Sokka was up and out of his chair when the tea that was taking so long appeared on the table.

"Sokka! The tea's right here!" Suki said to him.

He turned back to his real date and managed to 'smoothly' trip over a loose floorboard. Sokka heard Suki and Ty Lee coming towards him. Also, a mocking laugh coming from a corner of the shop.

"Sooka? Are you okay? Do you need a pink bandage? I've got--." Ty Lee started. "What's she doing here?" Referring to a stunned Suki.

"Sokka what are you doing with a Fire Nation girl?" the Kyoshi warrior asked not taking a stupid excuse.

He was now sitting on the creaking floor and rubbing his aching face. Sokka looked up to see Ty Lee and Suki battling each other with a staring contest.

"Fanny."

"Tramp-oline.."

Sokka quickly stood up between the girls before any weapons or fast acting fingers were brought into play. "Maybe I should explain…"

"Yeah, and while you're at it, orded my dang Momo Tea!"

All three of the teenagers, plus some entertained tea-lovers, glared at Toph who was up and out of her lonely corner.

"Toph! Stay out of this!" Sokka ordered.

"Why is Toph here?" Suki asked suspisously.

"She's not on a date with you too is she?" The once rivaling girls agreed with each other.

"Toph and me? No way!" Sokka explained. "She just wanted some Appa Tea. Honest!"

"Momo Tea!" the blind girl correct. She earned herself another horrifying scowl.

"Well, until you have a believable excuse, I'm outta here!" Suki sauntered out of the shop with a huff of discontent.

"Yeah! And until you add some pink into your wardrobe you can say 'buh-bye' to me!" Furious, Ty Lee skipped off leaving separated from an 'awwww-ing' Cups of Comfort.

"At least, you didn't leave me Toph," Sokka sadly sighed. He was about to sling his arma round the little girl when he looked down to where Toph's head might be, but wasn't. Toph?"

"Until, you get me my own cup of comfort, consided yourself girl-less." Toph strolled out of the shop and in the direction of their apartment.

The waiter that had been fed up with him, appeared on Sokka's side flicking a tear off his face. "Better luck next time, buddy."

Immediantly, Sokka sent him and everyone else in the shop a death glare and walked outside and into the emptying streets.

He let out a depressing sigh and glared at the full moon that was shining beautifully tonight. "Such a pretty moon for a wrong turning, tea drinking, and hopeless night."

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**A/N: So how was it? I know I need to work on… well everything, but I worked real hard and I think I deserve some reviews. Please, please with yummy tea on top review. **


	2. Fish Hooks

A/N: Finally, another Sokka Situation. Yes, I know it's been ages since I added anything else to this, but I'm kinda lazy. -scolds self- You shouldn't torture everyone for your lazyness! GRRR. Well, I have a range of good ideas for this whole entire collection, my brother told me to write this one first. I guess it amuses him. So, prepare for more Sokka Stuff!

I guess I have a knack for 'dramatic' first paragraphs. I don't know where it comes froms, just that I love it. It seems like Katara is OOC. So, sorry 'bout that. Yeah, so the actual story within this fic is in Katara's POV and it's in Italics. I got pretty darn lazy with this one. I actually started writing this on October 7. And I post it on October 19. It would've been sooner, but I got sucked into other fanfics... Anways, enjoy.

Disclaimer: I dont own one lychee nut, or anything else, from Avatar.

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**Fish Hooks**

Storm clouds surrounded the captured Fire Nation ship. The salty sea air whisked past to a far off cresent island. Topics of fun and sounds of laughter had drifted away since Aang had gone unconsious. The ship and everyone aboard it needed some uplifting. A story to listen to, a tale to tell, anything to lessen the blow of the Earth Kingdom falling, anything at all. Even if 'anything' required some teasing, sarcasim, and a whole lot of laughter. And Toph qualifed for the job.

"Tell me a story."

"What?"

"You heard me, Surgar Queen." Toph spat. "It's _so_ boring just waiting for Twinkle Toes to wake. Day in, and day out, that's all we do. Wait." It had been weeks since the departure of the once great city of Ba Sing Se. From the few messenger hawks that landed on our vessel, we've come to know that the power hunry fire princess has complete control of the Dai Li, who took down the enormous wall protecting hundreds of citizens. Not only has the Dai Li, become ruthless, but the Fire Nation has invaded the city to help along with the destruction.

The breezy air brushed Toph's bangs out of her face revealing tired, milky green eyes. The two benders were 'relaxing' at the edge of the ship where the metal met the ocean. She felt Katara sigh. With her newfound talent, the greatest earthbender could feel virbrations on metal surfaces. Hearing the waterbender's giggle coated with sugar wasn't music to Toph's ears, but it was something she missed. Snoozel's witty remarks, Twinkle Toes' light as a feather vibrations, Momo and Appa's chirpping and gurgles, everything that was close before is now so distant, Toph can hardly remember what they were.

"Well, what do you want to hear?"

"I don't care! Whatever comes to mind." The Blind Bandit slumped herself onto the metal ship,her back to the railing, waiting. _Even when a story is about to be told I'm still waiting._

Toph sensed Katara perking up. "Okay, I've got it. Once upon a time, there were two--"

"PUH-LEASE!" Toph interupted. "'Once upon a time?' How cheesy is that? Next."

Katara paused, but her heartbeat quickly rised again. "One time I threw an acorn--"

"You threw an acorn at Aang. You threw another at Sokka. You gave one to Aang. The end. Big whoop, next."

Katara was getting iritated, Toph could feel it. But she knew Katara wouldn't blow her cap off, _Sugar Queen needs a story too._

"I got it! Once, Aang burned me."

The Blind Bandit sighed.She had heard this story one too many times. "Yeah, but you healed yourself, so it wasn't that big of a deal. Next."

_She's right, thats one's pretty old...,_ Katara thought to herself. After for what seemed like forever, another idea poped into the master waterbender's head. "I've got it!" She had jumped up off her bottom with excitement.

"Alright. Get on with it."

"Feel Sokka anywhere near?" Katara questioned settling down.

A smirk played across the blind girl's face, _Oh, this has gotta be good. Sokka can't be around to hear a humiliating story of himself!_ She placed her hand onto the cool metal, and searched for the warrior's familiar vibrations. "Nope. He's off talking with your dad." She then felt her friend's hands and jaw clench. Toph had to admit, there was tension between the Water Tribe cheif and his daughter. But that was a family crisis, something the bored Blind Bandit did not want to hear.

"Good," Katara replied. "Well, at the time, I was nine-years-old and Sokka was eleven, The Fire Navy had already attacked our tribe," -the motherless waterbender choked- "and my dad and the other Water Tribesmen were yet to leave to fend off the enemy..."

_I awoke to see the dark color of the tent above my head. Rubbing the sleepiness from my eyes, I heard a familiar loud snore. It came from none other than my brother, Sokka. He sleeps late and sleeps in. No wonder he gets the left overs from breakfast. _

_So I quickly dressed into my robes, pulled my bangs into two hair loopys, and slipped into my coat. At the South Pole, you always need a coat, even in the summer. I walked outside to find myself squinting to the bright light of the sun. No clouds were in veiw. Heading towards the bonfire smoke, I smelled the deliciousness of seaprunes and rice. Good ol' rice. Yum. Gran-Gran and some other Water Tribes women, were cooking breakfast while the men talked strategy and the babies cradled in a nearby basket. Just like every morning._

_"Morning, Gran-Gran," I greeted my grandmother kissing her on the cheeck. "Smells yummy. Morning ,Dad."_

_"Good to see you not following your brother's bad habits," My grandmother replied in a tired voice. She stirred the pot of stew slowly as the aroma filled my nose._

_"Sleep well, Katara?" Dad asked. He got up from the log he was sitting on to give me a full on polar bear hur._

_I giggled, " 'Course. But Sokka's snoring woke me up!" _

_"Something tells me his sleeping schedule will soon get the better of him," Dad replied walking back to the log. _

_"Katara, grab a bowl. Breakfast is ready." Quickly, I snatched a bowl and a pair of chopsticks, hoping to fill my belly with yummy food, before the babies eat all of it, then throw it all up. _

_As I slurped up the last of my seaprunes, I head a mumbly groan coming from the tent. 'Sokka's awake,' I thought to myself. 'He's gonna get nothing but cold prunes and hard rice.' _

_My brother slumped himself next to me and reached for the giant pot, sticking his entire head into the hole. "Hey, you didn't leave anything for me!"_

_"Sorry, Sokka." I said. "Better luck next time!" I skipped over to the faucet to clean my plates. Then, I decided to wacth my brother sulk for the rest of the day, becoming his full time shadow. _

"Ditch the details! Hurry up to when Sokka screws up!"

"Hold on. I'm getting there!"

_Anyways, I waited for Sokka to get ready for the day before following his every movement. _

_He finally emerged with from the washroom fully dressed. Sneaking up on him, I let out a "WATCHA DOING?"_

_A surprised, girly scream escaped from Sokka's mouth, and he went crashing to the snow. I waited eagerly for him to stand up again and question my ourburst. But when he did recover, he just ignored me, and walked off in the direction of the icy cool stream just on the outskirts of our village. I felt a small furrowed brow spread acrossed my forehead. This did not stop me from annoying my brother all cay, oh no, just the opposite._

_I ran as fast as my legs could to catch up with him. "Whatcha doin'?"_

_"Nothing." Sokka was obviously doing something; he had brought his dinky fishing pole and a sack full of bait. _

_"That's a lie. You can't ever be not doing anything. You're always breathing right? Or sitting or standing or sleeping or blinking. You got your fishin' pole," I replied. "So... whatcha doing?"_

_"I'm gonna go fishing. Since you and the rest of the tribe decided to leave me nothing but yucky scraps," Sokka said irritated. He plopped down on the snow besides the stream and opened the sack of bait. "So leave me alone in peace, and maybe I'll give you some of the fish I catch."_

_Haha. Like that was going to happen. Everyone in the village knows that Sokka is not the most skilled fisherman. He hardly ever fishes! He just wants to prove that he can be a big, strong man who can catch fish for himself... But if he did catch one fish, he'd share with me... if I stopped bothering him... Fish or annoying sister... I pick fish._

_"Okies. See you with my fish later." I left him be with a smile plastered on my face. I started to march back to the village to help Gran-Gran with chores._

_"KAT. ARA!" _

_"I'm leaving you alone."_

_"KAT. AR. A! Get back here and help me!" Sokka yelled from behind me. I swiveled around to see him squirming on top of the snow, clenching his right wrist. Quickly, I ran back over to him. _

_"What is it? What happened?" I questioned leaning over his body, seriously thinking Sokka had gotten himself into a serious situation._

_He raised his right hand, with his left one following, for me to see. There was a fish hook lodged into his thumb._

"REALLY? A FISH HOOK?" Toph cried out laughing. "Seriously? I didn't think he was that stupid, getting his thumb attached to a pointy object proved me wrong."

"Yes, really." Katara replied. "Now let me finish the story, before Sokka hears you laughing."

"You had better hurry. I feel him coming our way."

_So... Instead of caring for his wound and pitying my brother, I bursted into a hysterical laughing fit. _

_"Why are you laughing? Help me get this hook outta my thumb!" Sokka sat up into a criss cross apple sauce and began to think. I could tell because whenever Sokka is thinking, he gets this real weird face, it looks serious, but his mouth is pouted._

_I soon ceased my uncontrolable laughter, and looked back at his thumb. "Maybe you should see Gran-Gran. Or Miss Sonia, she can heal--"_

_"I'VE GOT IT!" Sokka sprang into action, completely ignoring my brillant and sensible idea. He stuck his good hand into the sack and brought out none other than, another fish hook._

_"What're you gonna do with that? You can't fish with an injured thumb!"_

_"I'm going to use this hook to fish out the one in my thumb." He said so very proud of himself. "Get it? Fish out the hook with a fish hook!" I stared blankly at his non humourous joke. "Forget it. Just watch."_

_"Sokka, I don't think that's a good--" Too late. He already poked the second fish hook into his thumb. And might I say, it was an incredibly funny sight. _

_"YA-OUCH! KAT. ARA. A! OUCHIE OUCH OUCH!" Sokka's famous girly scream again ringed in my ears, as he hopped around in the snow with two, count 'em, two, fish hooks fixed into his thumb. _

"Hey! I did NOT approve of this!" Sokka came storming at the two girls after realizing it was him they were talking about. "Why are you tellin' Toph this? I was eleven, for spirits' sakes!"

"We don't need your approval to listen and tell a story about you," Toph replied stifling a laugh. "Two fish hooks? You're pathetic."

"C'mon, Sokka. You want to be a comedian right?" Katara said. "Then the first rule to comedy is: be able to laugh at yourself."

"And also be comfortable so others can laugh at you!" Toph added.

"Now, let me finsh the story. I'm sure Toph wants to hear the rest."

_Anyhow... I tried to calm him down, but I guess the pain was unbearable. Sokka hoped right into the stream! Good thing it was a slow flowing stream, or else he would've floated away into the icy cold sea._

_I called for Dad to fish Sokka out of the water and for Gran-Gran to prepare some warm, fluffy blankets and a nice bowl of steamed seaprunes.

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A/n: Ok, so what did you think? For those of you with a sharp eye, I spelled 'hair loopys' like that instead of 'hair loopies' because I like to spell it that way. Riiight, so onto the reveiw part. Go click the button. You know you want to make me happy! Thankees with alot of Sokka's yummy seaprunes.


	3. Sokka's Spectacular Show

A/n: Hi! Here's another Situation for you. I got this idea a while back, the start of September, and began to type it, but then I got lazy, and then I started 'Clash of the Elements.' Yeah... so this is really random. (probably I got it from a dream I had...) So if you like randomness and laughing alot you should read this. There might be some OCCness from the charries, but its random, remember? lol. Right, so read!

Disclaimer: Avatar: The Last Airbender does NOT belong to me, a crazy, obsessed author.

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**Sokka's Spectacular Show**

"Why can't I be me?" Aang whined to the older boy.

"I told you already! 'Cause you wouldn't't do it right!"

"How can I not play me right?"

"I mean you wouldn't play you the way I want to play you," Sokka replied slipping a red and black with a bold tip sock on his right hand. "Okay?"

"Fine," the Avatar said. "But why do I have to have almost every other part? The girls' too?"

The warrior put on another sock with a blue arrow onto his left hand. "Because I need to play the most important parts and they never leave the stage!"

"W'ever."

"Stop whining. Toph and Katara coming. You remember you lines?"

"Yeah, yeah."

The two boys were behind a white wall covered in red roses, in the middle of a large courtyard in the palace. Trees provided shade for the audience and a cool breeze brushed into the garden. Two earth chairs, in which Aang sprouted from the ground, sat in front of the pale wall. Sokka signaled the girls over to the area and pushed a peeking bald head down to where no one would see it. He had been preparing this show for a quite sometime now. A week at least. Sokka had managed to coax Aang into the scheme, and his sister and the blind earthbender agreed to watch the show (in their own ways).

Finally, Toph and Katara settled in the two seats.

"Hurry up, Ponytail. We don't have all day!"

Katara giggled and Aang stifled a laugh from behind the wall. Sokka didn't like the way his audience was treating him.

"Nyah, nyah, nyah!" he mocked poking his head from the top of the wall. And then in an announcer voice he announced, "Lady and Toph, may I present to you, Sokka's Spectacular Show!"

A few claps left the audience and flooded to Sokka's ears, it was good enough for him. He crouched below the wall and stuck his right hand (the one with the red sock) up. Moving his fingers, so it looked like the sock's 'mouth' was moving he said in a deep voice: "ROARRRR! I am the Fire Lord. Bow down to my authority! MWAHAHAHAHA!" Sokka's red sock moved in an evil way, while the sock with the arrow on it jumped into view. "NO! I'm the Avatar! Obey me! Do not bow down to the Fire Lord scum!" Obviously, this was the Aang puppet, and it was hopping up and down as if to preventing the audience from bowing down.

This got some laughs out of Katara, but Toph was yet to be impressed.

Behind the wall, Sokka nudged Aang with his elbow, queing him to get a move on. In which he earned himself a dirty look. Reluctantly, Aang stuck up a Water Tribe Blue with a warrior's wolftail sock, on his right hand. "Avatar rocks. Fire Nation is dirty little rats!"

Now, Toph was laughing, "Who would say that!?"

"Shut up!" Sokka ordered. He moved the Fire Lord to a'grrr-I'm-mad' stance and said: "I'll show you rats!" And if Sokka could firebend, he would've shot some blasts at the Sokka puppet, but he doesn't. So instead, a red sock with short black hair and a red scar popped beside Puppet Sokka.

"No. Father! I will save you the trouble!" It said in a squeaky Zuko voice. "I will capture the Avatar! And Torture him!" The Water Tribe puppet fell and another Water Tribe one took its place. But in the place of a wolftail, brown hair loopys were painted. "Zuko!"

At this point, the life size Katara ceased her giggling fit with a murderous glare pointed at the wall. It was her partner's turn to clutch her sides and laugh. Katara then sent her a matching look, that she knew Toph couldn't see, but who cares?

"Stop! Aang is going to stop the war! Do you want to die?" The puppet continued. Aang himself was saying this in between small chuckles. "Don't do it!"

The mini Aang piped up, "Yeah! 'Cause if you even try to get within ten feet of me, I'll kick your honorless butt!" The arrow puppet made his way to the Zuko Puppet and started to hit it with 'airbending.' Mini Zuko fought back with 'firebending.' The the Fire Lord said: "STOPPP! Prince Zuko! What are you doing fighting the Avatar? You should be off with some peasant girl!"

"B-but father!" Zuko squeaked. "I need to capture the Avatar to restore my honor! Then you will love me!" The scarred puppet, flopped into an sad kind of state and began to whimper. "Now my honor will never come back to me!" Tiny Katara laughed, "Hahaha! Your dog Honor ran away from you! And it's never returning!" She got on top of the Zuko puppet as if taunting him.

The show had to take a few seconds for a small break. Somebody needed to get Toph a glass of water for her sore throat. Angry, real Katara gave her some from her water skin. After her refreshment, Toph waved to the wall, signaling for the show to go on.

Aang pulled down mini Zuko and pushed up a mini Toph. "Hey! What's going on here? I can feel your guys' heartbeat a mile away!" She yelled. "I can hear them too!" The puppet seemed to be covering her 'ears.'

The real Toph instantly fumed. Of course she couldn't see what was actually happening, but she knew the boys were, in some way, making fun of her. "I don't sound like that!" She shouted in the same exact voice that Aang had used.

And, of course, Sokka and Aang began to laugh behind the wall. "Noo. Shh! Get on with your lines!" Sokka hurried. The Fire Lord suddenly shouted, "Who is this tiny blind girl? She looks so wimpy!"

Aang moved the Toph puppet as it were preforming a series of earthbending moves and shouted: "I'm not wimpy!" The puppet moved across the top of the wall and began to try to push the Fire Lord puppet, but with no luck.

"You cannot puncture a hole in me, wimpo!" the Fire Lord mocked. It pushed the green painted puppet down below the wall.

"Hey! I'm not weak! And you of all people, Sokka should know that!" Toph yelled from her seat.

"Nyah, nyah, nyah," Sokka replied. "Aang ready?"

Aang had already stuck up a pink painted puppet above the wall. It began to twist and turn. Another new puppet popped into veiw. Instead of pink, it was painted in black and dark red. "I am Ty Lee, the circus freak!" "And I'm Mai, the emotionless knife thrower." The two danced together on the stage very weirdly.

"If you two stop helping the Fire Nation, I'll give you," Aang puppet started, pointing to Ty Lee puppet. "a village of pink stuff! And to you" here he pointed to Mai puppet. "a village of... nothingness!" The mini Avatar jumped all around bumping into every other puppet. "NOOOO!" The Fire Lord Puppet roared. "Do NOT listen to the Avatar; he is too joyful for you! He is too happy."

The real Avatar was about to bring a puppet that looked like a certain Fire Nation princess, but stopped, surprised by the words that came from the schemer's mouth. He hadn't heard Sokka's lines before.

"I'm not too happy!" Aang said loudly, standing up.

"Aang! Get back down here!" Sokka whispered.

"I'm not too happy." Aang repeated.

"Of course you're not, but that's the way this show has to go."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Yeah, genius!" Toph yelled from her seat. "Why didn't you tell Twinkle Toes you were gonna make fun of him and his happiness."

"So you think I'm too happy too?" Aang said to Toph this time.

"Aang, settle down," Katara replied. "We want to see the rest of the show you and Sokka worked on."

"Yes, I do think you're too happy!" Toph shouted.

"Aang, don't go Avatar state on me now!" Sokka begged. He could see the rage in the Avatar's eyes, and he knew what would be coming. "It's almost the end of the show."

Suddenly, Aang calmed down, and crouched below the wall once again. "Sorry, Sokka." He put the Azula puppet to his face, so to hide the mischievous grin. He pushed the puppet into view and said in a deep voice: "Father. I will make sure Ty Lee and Mai won't turn over..."

The 'Fire Lord' was about to reply when 'Azula' busted out into a yell.

"...With my earthbending!" The Azula puppet was brought down and into a fist. Real Aang punched the wall and a one chunk of earth flew towards Toph, while another flew to Sokka. "Who's too happy now?!" Aang shouted, going haywire.

Toph punched the oncoming boulder into smithereens. A smirk landed on her face, she was happy to this show turned out to be more than boring. She stood up and picked up her chair and forced towards the wall.

Katara, on the other hand, frowned at her friends' behavior. A friendly. unharmful activity was something she hadn't enjoyed in awhile. The peacemaker inside of her was about to stop the feuding, but a boomerang was headed her way. She opened her waterskin and found that it was empty because of Toph drinking it. Her fists clenched and she began to run out of the garden, leaving the mini war behind.

Sokka was furious; his spectacular show wasn't so spectacular. Instead it had been the epicenter of an argument in the little gang. He brought his boomerang out of his sheath, and threw it out of frustration. Soon, his weapon appeared back into his hand, and he crawled to a safer spot. There was no way he could take on Toph, the ultra awesome earthbender, and Aang, the almighty Avatar! So he just waited behind a tree.

* * *

A/n: Sooo? Did you like it? Huh. huh, huh:D It's a weird ending I know, but random!!! lol. Okay, well thankees to all that addded 'Sokka Situations' to their Story Alert list. That means alot. :)

Also, if you have any ideas of a situation for Sokka to be in, please tell me. I know I said I had a lot int mind for this, but alot turned into one more. My other ideas have no 'structure.' And I'm busing with 'Clash of the Elements.' So click and type away!


	4. Ps

A/n: Hi! Well this is just a situation my brother made up last night (wow he is good at that) and he wanted me to post it. This isn't that long, just funny. Imagine this would happen if Katara and Toph hadn't used Hawky to send that message. Also you must remember Sokka's idea for even getting a messenger hawk (besides to send letters): "Then I wouldn't need to talk to anyone; I'd just send them messages." Okay? Okay. :)

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Avatar, the best show on Nickelodeon.

* * *

**P.s.**

Sokka quickly scribbled down something on a paper and rolled into the tube on Hawky's back. He snickered lightly and Hawky jumped onto his arm.

"Hawky!" Sokka started. "Aang!" The messenger bird flew off of his arm and into the airbender's way. The bird landed softly next to the boy and nudged him to open the cap.

_Aang,_

_P.s. Hi_

_P.s.s. Hi hi._

_P.s.s.s. Hi hi hi._

_P.p.s.s.s. Hi... again._

_P.p.p.s.s.s. How's it going?_

_P.p.p.p.s.s.s. Did you noticed I haven't really said anything? It's just P.s's._

_P.p.p.p.s.s.s.s. Soooo. What's cooking, my home skillet bisket?_

_P.p.p.p.s.s.s.s.s. Well, I'm running out of space, and ink. So, I have to g--_

After reading the useless letter, Aang walked over to Sokka asking, "Do you know what?"

Sokka found more ink and more paper and wrote down yet another message and slipping into the tube. He pointed to Aang and Hawky flew from Sokka's arm to the nearby Avatar's.

_Aang,_

_P.s. Turkey-Chicken Butt?_

"No,"Aang sighed, irritated.

Again, Sokka wrote another message to Aang.

_Aang,_

_P.s. What?_

"I was gonna ask what was for dinner," Aang began. "But, now I'm asking: why are you only talking to me in messages from Hawky?"

_Aang,_

_P.s. Hey, do I ask YOU why you act all weird around my sister?_

A red tint appeared on the boy's face. "Well... no."

_Aang,_

_P.s. Exactly._

Sokka picked up his messenger bird and walked off, satisfied with his ability to spontaneously embarrass the Avatar.

* * *

A/n: I told you it was short! hehehe. Well, it was funny right? x) Tell me your thoughts, please. 

Right, so remember when I said I didn't have that many ideas?? Well I lied. I didn't know I was lying. I have at least FIVE, count 'em FIVE more ideas for situations/schemes for our favorite Boomerang weilder!! Yay:)


	5. An Intelectual Stroke of Genius

A/n: spazz OMG! 3 more days until The Day of Black Sun!!! EPPP! It's the day we've all been waiting for! (That is, unless, you cheated.) Anyways...

This idea came from 'The City of Walls and Secrets.' The scene at the very beginning when the gaang is in the train. Sokka mentions it. :) So props to Sokka! LOL. Sorry to all the typos, blah, I hate those. Plus, Katara is no where to be found in this Situation; she just wouldn't fit. Yeah... there might be some made up words... but I think all you guys will get the idea. I encourage you all to laugh your butts off!

Disclaimer: I have no ownership over Avatar: The Wonderful Addiction that has taken over me.

* * *

**Exploding Spoon**

Of course with all the _free time _Sokka had, the free time that was supposed to be used for cleaning Appa's fur, he made something. _An Intelectual Stroke of Genius_ he called it. And of course, this invention was completely and utterly the opposite. He had to figure that out the hard way.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

"Guys, guys!" Sokka ran up to his awesome bending master friends. "Guess what!"

"Probably something stupid, coming from you," Toph spat. Stuff that came out of the boomerang warrior's mouth usualy was either stupid or useless, or something actually worth listening to. If the gang weren't in a dier situation, the 'what' was most likely unneeded.

"No," Sokka replied. "Keep guesing!"

"Uhhh," Aang started. "Did you use that special shampoo that Katara--"

"I made something!" Sokka beamed like he was indeed the 'most smartest' person to have ever walked the earth.

"Like I said, 'something stupid,'" the blind earthbender yawned.

"Wow. Amazing, Sokka. What is it?" the Avatar questioned, oblivious to what he was getting himself and Toph, into.

"I'm glad _somebody_ is interested with my," here Sokka cleared his throat. "_Intelectual Stroke of Genius!_" Again he beamed and a weird bright light shined in back of him.

"Stroke of Genius?" Toph replied, unimpressed. "Pshhhaw! Like what? A piece of paper that blows up when somebody touches it?"

"Ha. Ha. Very funny, Miss I-can-metalbend-and-is-not-easily-impressed-by-an-awesome-invention," Sokka said. "It is much better than a piece of paper." He paused fro dramatic effect. "Ready for this? I invented an exploding spoon!" From behind, Sokka pulled out a wodden spoon and held in the air, for everyone to bask in it's 'awesomeness.' He smiled still, waiting for someone to say something, anything, about the spoon.

"That's nice," Toph said.

Anything, but that.

"Is that it? Is that's all you can say?" Sokka questioned in disbelief. "Probably speechless. Aang! What about you? What do you think of my exploding spoon?"

"Uhhh," the airbender pulled his arm behind his head, as if searching for a reply back there. "Well, it certainly looks, uhhh, intelectual... What does 'intelectual' mean?"

"It means smart, dufus," Toph answered. "And this 'invention,' is no where near that! It's just an ordinary spoon! Where's the 'exploding' part?"

"I was getting there, goshhhh," Sokka replied. "My spoon is hollow, and it's half filled with oil." The 'genius' was about to go on, when he was interuppted.

"I don't get it."

"Hold on! The good part's coming!" Sokka once again cleared his throat. "When I give this spoon to a meano firebender. It will blow up, hence 'exploding spoon.'"

"Okay," Toph said. "But _why?_"

"Well, if you were smarter, you'd know!" Sokka retorted. "But if I must explain: The firebender's hand is so flippin' hot that the oil catches fire!"

"The spoon explodes because of a firebender's really warm girp?" Aang questioned, very much puzzled.

"Yes."

"So what, that firebender dude just watches himself die by fire crawling up his arm?" the blind downer asked.

"Yes! Well... no...," Sokka admitted. There was no way a firebender would just look at the fire eating up his arm without enstinguishing it. He needed to adjust his stroke of genius.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

After much needed redoing, Sokka returned to his ultra awesome beding buds, with his new and 'improved' invention.

"Okay!" He annoucned. "It's better than ever! And good to go!"

"Well, what did you change?" Aang asked, looking up from the special shampoo container to Appa.

"Yeah, Meathead," Toph agreed, looking up from her toe picking session. "What could you have done to that useless invention to make it better?"

"As a matter fact, my 'useless invention' is greater than before. And I think you will be satisified with it's greatness!" Sokka once again beamed for what was only the third time that day. And he once again pulled out his wooden spoon from a hidden pocket behind him.

"It looks the same, Sokka," the airbender observed.

"Ahhh, it _looks_ the same on the outside, but there's something totally different on the inside."

"Get on with it so I can make fun of it, and get on with my life." Of course that came from the blind earthbender.

"I filled the spoon with more oil!"

"And what good did that do?"

"Well, when the firebender's really really hot hand touches the spoon, it will blow up more faster. Thus, giving the firebender less time to react and less time to put out the fire eating him up." Sokka still beamed. Still not noticing his flaw.

"But couldn't the firebender still extinguish the fire?" Aang reasoned. "Just 'cause the spoon blows up faster, doesn't mean the firebender can't get rid of his oncoming death!"

"Well," the inventionier started. "Firebenders are real dumb, and, and, they don't know what to do when an awesome spoon like mine, is exploding."

"That's logical," Toph said sarcasitcally.

"Yes, it is." Sokka replied, taking no note of the sarcasim.

"Still needs work." Toph and Aang returned to their activies, while Sokka's mouth banged the floor.

"I thought for sure this was better..."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Once again, Sokka returns to his super awesome bending heroes. And he once again has something in store, with his 'stroke of genius.'

Toph had felt him coming a mile away and was ready for his failure. "Alright, Meathead. What'd you bring for us to make fun of now?"

"There's nothing wrong with version three of Exploding Spoon!" Sokka beamed, at nothing. This time he didn't pull out his spoon from a secret pocket.

"Well," Aang said expectingly. "Where is it?"

Sokka startled out of his beaming trance. "Oh! Follow me." He began to walk behind the cliff, while the benders were close on his toes. The three came to a large blanket covering a very large something.

"Be hold! The greatest version of my Exploding Spoon there will ever be!" The warrior announced pulling the blanket off the something. Something was a giant wooden spoon. It was half the size of a certain flying bison.

"Whoa! It's humoungus!" Aang said, examining the invention at all sides. He tapped the wood, finding that it was hollow, like the other versions. The tap made an empty ringing sound bounce off the inside of the spoon.

"I'll give you points for bigness," Toph commlimented, using the vibrations to help her to see the invetion. "But please explain."

"I was just waiting for you to ask that," Sokka smiled, walking over to his spoon. Sliding his hands over the wood he said, "Its sleek design will help the spoon fly through the air and the size will stun the firebender even more so than a smaller spoon. I'll throw it in a firebender's direction and they'll get crushed!" Now the invetionier was full on hugging the giant spoon.

"Alright, 'genius,' we get it that you love your weapon against the Fire Nation, but...," Toph began.

"WHAT? There is no 'but' in this version of my stroke of genius!" Sokka defended.

"You can't handle the truth!" Aang blurted out of nowhere. "What? It's true! If you keep defending your spoon like this, than our insults to it will hurt even more."

"Exactly, Ponytail," the blind earthbender replied. "But, there's still a 'but.' How are you even gonna get that giant spoon into the air, so it will crush a firebender?!" Toph smirked, knowing she had cornered her friend.

Realization hit Sokka straight in the face. "Reality continues to ruin my life." He tried to push his invention somewhere else, but to no avail. Instead, Sokka just gave the evil eye to both Aang and Toph, then walking away.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

"Okay. I've got it." Sokka announced, once again. He walked up to Toph and Aang, confidence in his step. (Or clumsiness, according to the blind girl.) And once again he beamed.

"I believe that it's gonna work this time, Sokka," Aang encouraged jumping to his feet.

"Eh," Toph said.

"Oh, believe me, this time, my awesome exploding spoon, will be the bomb!" He waited for the laughter, that never did come. "Get it? Blowing up spoon? The bomb?" Still no one gave hint to laughter. "Forget it."

"You're not funny." Both benders said, simutaneously.

"I'm funny, you guys just don't have a good sense of humor."

"Whatever. Just show us the spoon, for spirits' sake!"

"Impatience is not a good virtue," Sokka wagged a finger. "Anyways! This is it!" He unleashed a regular looking, wooden spoon from his hidden pocket.

"It looks the same as the first one!" Aang observed.

"It is! But there's a different technique to the 'exploding.'" Sokka explained, getting ready to show a demonstration.

"C'mon then." Toph replied, tapping her foot. "We're waiting."

"Like I said: Impatience is not a good virtue." The warrior bended his kness into a fighting stance, like he was about to throw his boomerang at someone and threw the spoon straight at the Avatar.

Aang being caught off guard, was stunned that Sokka hit him with a spoon on his head. "This new hair is kinda like a helmet."

"Aang!" Sokka yelled. "You're the Avatar! You were supposed to deflect the spoon with an airblast or something!" He waved his arms into the air, emphasizing the 'air' part.

"Yeah, Twinkle Toes, 'all mighty' Avatar no more!" Toph laughed.

"How was I supposed to know?" Aang question innocently. "Besides, I'm off duty. The ttile: Avatar does not apply to me at the moment."

"You're weird."

Sokka went on with his explanation. "That demonstration from Aang was something a dumb firebender would do. But not all firebenders are dumb. So I throw the spoon at the meanie and he will shoot a fireball at it. And as before, there is oil inside. The oil will catch fire, thus causing an explosion!"

"At least you thought this one through more so than the other versions," Aang complimented.

"Thank you very much!" Sokka was now beaming at something.

"But!" And Toph ruined his moment.

"NOOO! There is no 'but' in this version! It is perfect!" Sokka yelled to the sky and Toph at the same time. He began to wave his arms like a wild man. "Noooo!"

"Oh, but yes!" The blind girl had a mischevious grin on her face. Aang quickly caught on and agreed with Toph.

"I pity you, Sokka," the Avatar laughed.

"The one flaw is...," Toph began, while the unhappy inventionier held his head in his hands. "The firebender is not stupid! He will still try to stop the exploding spoon from killing him! There is fire in an explosion, therefore the firebender will just bend the fire away from him!"

Sokka looked up at his his so called 'friends.' He stood up and poked both of them in the heads. "I hate you guys."

* * *

A/n: Heh heh heh... Sokka's an inventionier. XD Tell me what you think, it makes me happy. LOL. :)

P.s. I like to call that spoon 'Kasploding Spoon.' HAH!


	6. Toothbrush

A/n: Alrighty, Sokka fans. Prepare for some laughing! Hehehe. Okay, so I thought of this one a loong time ago. I wrote it down, and viola! Takes place in modern times, though you can hardly tell. Here it is! Don't forget to review at the end. :)

Disclaimer: Avatar is no way, no how, belonging to me in a million jillion years.

* * *

**Toothbrush**

Waking up was definitely the hardest part of the day. In Sokka's opinion, there was no reason to even get up. All you ever do when you're awake is blink and breathe. You do all that when you're asleep, too! Minus the blinking part.

Although, the day started off badly, for waking up was truly hard today, Sokka awoke and found his feet taking him in the bathroom.

He grogginly rubbed his eyes with one hand and reached out for his toothbrush with the other. Sokka picked up the blue toothbrush from the cup it was in and moved its way to the water running down the fasucet. He was about to drench the tooth cleaner when he felt drops of liquid touch his fingers. His blue eyes made contact with the bristles, the already wet bristles.

"Eww."

Someone had been using Sokka's toothbrush. Someone put Sokka's toothy germs into their mouth, and left theirs onto his toothbrush. Someone was not using their eyes! Somone used Sokka's toothbrush for their own cleaning pleasue! The nerve! There was no way, no how, his mouth was ever EVER touching the infected toothbrush again.

Sokka threw the toothbrush in the trash can angrily and opened the medicine cabinet. He grabbed the mouthwash and poured a whole lot of it into his mouth, swishing and swishing it around. Green, spit-y looking stuff was left in the sink after he spat out the other form of mouth cleaning. Sokka was good and ready for a very logical argument with whoever used his ex-toothbrush.

There were only three other peopel living in the same household. He crossed his sister off the suspect list. There was no way she would ever put anything in her mouth that had come in contact with Sokka what so ever. He also crossed off Aang. The goofy kid just didn't seem like the type to use a used toothbrush. That only left one other person; a certain blind girl.

Sokka stormed into the kitchen where he found Toph peeling a banana, feet rested atop another chair. Her hair was mess of black, which he didn't take notice of, that's the way it always was early in the morning. He was about to open his mouth when the aroma of meat filled his nose. His mouth quickly shut, and his nose took over. On a plate, there layed the most beautiful batch of bacon Sokka had ever seen. He just couldn't not take one bite... or two. Sokka made a mad dash for the plate, stuffing as many pieces of bacon he could into his seemingly enlargened mouth. He gulped down a glass of juice and sat across from his friend, bacon peices decorating his face.

"Mornin' Toph."

"Mmhmm," she replied, banana in her mouth.

"Where're Katara and Aang?" Sokka asked, completely unaware of his forgetful-ness.

"They went out. I wasn't really listening," Toph replied, finishing off her fruit and throwing the peel into the trash can. "Sugar Queen woke me up just to tell me where they were going. Something about teeth, or mouths, or floss, or --"

"What's wrong with you?!" He suddenly shouted, suddenly remembering why he had been mad this morning.

"Waking up this early. I'm going back to bed."

"It's ten in the morning!"

"So?"

"You're getting off subect!"

"What exactly is the subject I was on?"

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" Sokka repeated, standing up. He pointed an accusing finger at the blind girl. "You used my toothbrush! MY toothbrush!"

"No wonder. My mouth tasted a little funny," she replied, taking what was left of Sokka's juice and drinking it.

"That's just gross!"

"What? Me drinking from your glass?" Toph asked. "I always do that."

"Not that!" Sokka said. "Well, yes that. But you put another person's toothbrush in your mouth! Doesn't that bother you?!"

"Nope."

"Not even a little, teensy weensy bit?"

"Did you eat a pile of dung last night before brushing your teeth? If you did, then yeah. Who eats poo?"

"I didn't eat anything other than meat last night!"

"Okay then!" Toph got up and went to poor another glass of juice into the cup. "What's the problem then?"

"You. Used. My. Toothbrush!!!" Sokka shouted, maybe raising his voice even louder would get the situation across to his friend.

"Didn't we already solve that mystery?" Toph replied. "You ate all the bacon! Katara said it was for the both of us!"

"I don't care about the bacon! All I care about is you using my toothbrush!" After a moment, Sokk realized what he said. He began to rub his stomach saying, "No, no. Shhh. Of course I care about you! Toph has a diabolical plan to force me to admit my hate for all meats! But it will never work. NEVER!"

"You're crazy. Make make me something to eat."

"It's okay," he continued to comfort his already eaten bacon. "I'll find her secret drawer of plans. And we'll tell her to rue the day she ever thought of me hating meat and wanting me to admit it. They'll all see. MWUAHAHAHA!"

"Pancakes. Waffles. French toast. Cereal," Toph listed, bored out of her mind. "Anything! Just put some food on my plate!"

"You're so mean," Sokka replied. "You put my toothbrush into your mouth and don't even apologize! And you didn't even offer to buy me a new one! You meanie!" He turned his back the blind girl and began to talk to his stomach again. "Don't you agree with me, stomach? She's taken so much food away from you, huh? Don't worry. We can still survive. You'll get all the--"

"Enough!" she yelled, standing up. "Fine. Fine! I'll buy you another toothbrush! One of those fancy, rotating brushes! Anything to shut you and your stomacu up and to make me a decent breakfast! Goshh." Toph returned to her seat, arms crossed.

"Yay!" Sokka clapped his hands merrily. "We did it, sto--. I mean. I did it!" He opened the fridge and brought out an empty carton of milk. "Sorry, Toph. Looks like we'll have to make a trip to the super-market. There's no more milk."

Her head came in contact with the table.

"Hey! While we're there, you can buy me a super awesome toothbrush!" Sokka announced. "Oh this'll be great! Do you know any good stores that sell toothbrushes? Maybe we can stop by my dentist and see if there's an extra one there. Or I can call Katara. She's a clean freak, she'll know the perfect place."

Toph continued to pound her head on the table listening to toothbrush freak. "Why? Why on this day, do I have to be stuck with this Meathead?"

* * *

A/n: Please be aware that I do not think of Sokka as super sensitive about his teeth and toothbrush. Sokka's just the type to blow up over something completely stupid, little, and random. :) Yeahh, so those reveiws, they're my bestestest friends. Send me more please! 


	7. Everyday, Everyday

A/n: Whoot for me finally updating! Yay! I'm sorry for the long wait, please forgive me! If you don't, then by the end of this situation you will! My brother gave me this idea (he replaced the situation I was going to write first), and I thought it was pretty dang good and funny! Again, this takes place in the real world.

Disclaimer: Me owning Avatar? Where'd you get a silly idea such as that?!

* * *

**Everyday, Everyday**

Like any other morning, Sokka woke up refreshed and ready for the day. But unlike any other morning, the young man was smiling. As in his lips were stretching widely in a happy fashion. As in acting like an optimistic, happy-go-lucky un-pessimistic person. The weird thing is Sokka not noticing his strange behavior. Usually, he's his own happy radar; going crazy even before a smile creeps upon his face. With the exception of eating meat—eating in general, actually. So as he did everyday, Sokka made a bee line for the kitchen.

"Good morning, little sister!" he greeted, the smile turning creepy looking. He walked over to the counter where he found a bagel waiting for him. Sokka popped the bread into the toaster and headed for the fridge. He reached inside and grabbed a packet of bacon, opened it, and spread the meat on a simmering pan.

"Why are you so happy?" Katara questioned, already finishing up her breakfast.

"I'm not sure," he replied, flipping the bacon strips. "I think it's just the thought of me eating extra meat today." Once the bagels were done toasting, Sokka grabbed them and placed them on a plate. The bacon was done in minutes, and he used the spatula to slide the strips onto the bagel. He seated himself next to his sister, and took a bite out of his breakfast.

"Why not put cream cheese on that bagel, instead of bacon?" Katara asked, giving her brother a strange look.

He replied in between bites, "If it isn't meat, it's not good." And with that, he swallowed the rest of his morning meal and rushed back into his room.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Sokka welcomed Toph into his kitchen for lunch. When Katara asked him what was on the menu, and when he replied meat, she said she would be dining out for the afternoon. That just left more food for him and his guest.

He heard the doorbell ring throughout the small living conditions, and left his position in the kitchen to open the door.

"Took you long enough, Meathead," Toph greeted, pushing past Sokka.

"Nice to see you, too, Toph," he replied with an unusually placed smile. Sokka went straight back to the counter as Toph made her way to the small table.

"You're too happy," she stated. "That's weird."

"Yeah, I've noticed it," he called. "But I think it's just today, the food!" Sokka wield the butcher's knife in his hand down to the cutting board, shopping his concoction into two pieces. He opened a cupboard, pulling out a couple of plates, grabbed some utensils and set the table.

"Alright, what have you made to kill me now?" Toph couldn't see the meal, but she sure could smell the foul fragrance.

Sokka placed one plate in front of the blind girl, and sat down in a chair of his own. He picked up his fork and knife and began to cut the meal in bite sized pieces. "It's a breadless chicken sandwich!" He picked up on a chunk of the meat with his fork, and as he was about to stick it into his mouth he declared, "I named him Charlie!" Immediately, Sokka chomped and chewed.

"You named a chicken sandwich—minus the bread—Charlie?" she asked, clearly disgusted by the lack of culinary skills her friend presented. "Why Charlie?"

"Charlie's a good name to name a sandwich. It's a sandwich name!" Sokka was almost done with his grub, ready for a second round.

"Remind me to never accept a lunch invitation from you ever again," Toph said, pushing the chicken platter away.

"Okay. What about dinner?"

/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Toph declined his oh so generous offer, but Sokka still went to work on an extravagant dinner. A new, unsuspecting guest was on his way.

Sokka spent the rest of the afternoon banging on pots and pans, messing around in the kitchen, and searching for the first aid kit. Luckily, he didn't have to waste precious time out looking for the perfect ingredients for the meal; the fridge was fully stocked.

For the second time that day, the sound of the doorbell rang in Sokka's ears. He opened the door to a familiar smiling Aang.

"Hi, Sokka!" he greeted hugging his friend.

"Hey, Aang! You came just in time!" Sokka replied, hurrying back to the kitchen. "Dinner's almost ready."

"Thanks for inviting me. I have been stuck at home for the longest time!" Aang said, sitting down at the same table another—now disgusted—friend had once sat.

"No problem. I need someone to test out my cooking skills," the chef said. He was almost done with the extra long preparation. This meal smelled better than the last, and Sokka hoped, it tasted even better! He told Aang to wait in the other room while he set up the dining area. Once he was finished with that, he called back his friend.

"May I present to you"—here Sokka put his hands in front of him like he was showing off a popular piece of art—"dinner!" Sitting atop the small table, there was a giant turkey, a bowl of bacon bits, a dish of ham, a platter of chicken, barbeque sticks laid on a sheet of aluminum foil, and an assortment of toppings and dressings.

"Wow, Sokka…," Aang stared at the nice meal the master chef had prepared for him. "There's just this one thing…"

"What's that?" Sokka was already drooling over the table, but of course he didn't dig in, because it was very impolite to do that sort of rude thing when you are the host.

"I'm a vegetarian…. Remember?"

"Oh! Right!" Sokka snapped out of staring at the food, and opened the refrigerator. "There's gotta be something here you can eat."

After a few minutes of rummaging around the kitchen, Sokka came up with a rotten banana, a piece of burnt toast, and a bag of bite sized carrots for Aang to eat.

"Sorry, Aang, this is all I've got, that isn't meat."

"Don't worry about it," the smiley boy said. "Thanks anyways!" Sokka handed him the lousy amount of food. "I think I'll take this to go, thank you very much!"

"Alright! Well, maybe you could swing by tomorrow morning? I can make a mean bagel!" Sokka offered.

"Maybe," Aang laughed. He walked out the door leaving a meat loving young man with a table covered in the food.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Even though his day was quite out of the usual, his night ended like it did every night. Sokka pulled the warm covers over his body and snuggled up to his pillow, smiling, before drifting off into a dream of food.

* * *

A/n: Forgive me now? XD Alright well don't forget to click that 'Go' button now!

I have some news! Yay for news! I'm going to start another set of one shots just like this one, 'The Spontaneous Tales of Katara and Sokka.' My brother once again popped a great idea into my brain, and he demands that I write those ideas. So be on the look out for those, I'll keep you posted! (:

Not news, but asking favors! Yay! I need your help! Yes, you, the one with the eyes glued to the computer screen! I need you to think of some embarrassing/humiliating/weird/creepy/any other adjective questions to ask Sokka! Please include any ideas for this in a review or private message. I'm asking this because it's for an upcoming situation and I need variety, people! Thanks! (:


	8. In the Closet

A/n: Okay, this was supposed to be the first take in 'The Spontaneous Tales of Katara and Sokka,' but I decided not to make that. There is only one other idea, and it isn't worth it. So I'll just put it in 'Sokka Situations.' Yeah, so… WHAT'S WITH ALL THE MODERN-NESS?!

Disclaimer: No, no. You got it all wrong! This is a CLAIMER. I do own Avatar; it's one of my well known accomplishments! … Why are you staring at me like that? –shifty eyes- Toph… Stop! No! Alright I confess! I do not own Avatar… Happy?

* * *

**In the Closet**

"Katara! Sokka! Time to get your pajamas on!" Hakoda called from down the hallway.

A boy and his younger sister walked over to their father, one already wearing blue footsy pajamas and a smug.

"Haha, I've already got my PJs on," Katara mocked, sticking out her tongue.

"NERD!" Sokka retorted, laughing and pointing.

"At least I won't be the one living on the street when I grow up."

"Hey! You wanna tussel?!" Fists swooped up in front of the boy's face like he was participating in a boxing match.

His sister flew on top of him, pulling his hair. "Ponytail? That's a wimpy hairstyle!"

"It's a wolf tail, for your information," Sokka corrected rolling on and off of Katara in the middle of the hallway. They continued to fight over the course of three seconds when their father interrupted their dispute.

"Alright, alright," he said putting his hands in between his children. "That's enough, you two. Sokka, just get on your pajamas and go to bed."

"But DA-AD! There are firebenders in my closet!"

Katara stared at her older brother, and then burst out in an incontrollable laughter.

Hakoda sighed. "Sokka, believe me. There are no firebenders in your closet."

"There are no such things as firebenders in the first place!" Katara pointed out, clutching her sides.

"There are to! I saw their shadows!" Sokka protested. "If I end up becoming fried meat—and although meat is the single most best thing in this world—I will blame my death on you!" He pointed one finger at his dad and the other at his sister.

Only silence filled the small family's house. Again, Katara laughed hysterically rolling on the floor. Hakoda slapped his forehead with his hand, and sighed again.

"Katara, would you be so kind as to sleep in your brother's room tonight?" he asked once his daughter was finished laughing.

The young girl picked herself up and looked up at her father's face, a sickly sweet smile painted on her face. "Of course, daddy!" She turned around to face her brother and mouthed the words 'I hate you.'

Sokka ran for his room, quickly slipping on his pajamas, which had an 'L' shaped design printed all over it, for fear of being alone in the room for too long.

"Katara? You can come in now," he called from under his covers. He heard someone stepping into his room, closing the door shut, and the click the lamp made when it was turned off. He heard nothing for a second or so and decided to check things out.

When his abnormal shaped head popped out from under the blankets, immediately a shadow pounced on top of his bed, scaring him almost to his death. A girly scream escaped from his lips and giggling filled his ears. Sokka saw his sister laughing all over his blankets.

"Hey, that wasn't funny!" he said.

"Maybe not to you. But it certainly was for me!" Katara replied in between laughs. She crawled to the head of the bed, slipping under covers, and resting her head on one of the extra pillows.

Sokka shivered in the bed, despite the warm quilt. Katara closed her eyes and breathed in the smell of her brother's room… The icky, disgusting smell.

"Ew! What's that funky smell?" she questioned, pinching her nose.

"What funky smell?" he replied, the shaking coming to a hault.

Katara decided to risk her life, by unpinching her nose and sniffing the comforters. She picked up the blanket into the air and continued to sniff up to the point where she couldn't handle it any longer. "You're a nasty baby!"

"What? I don't smell a thing!"

"Probably because the scent is now accustomed to you!"

After getting over the odor outburst, the siblings lied in silence for a long while. Sokka stole glance at his not so far closet. He spotted something ruffle his hangers. He heard a slight movement. He smelled the aroma of firebenders… or was that just his apparently nasty smelling bed? Whatever it was, it caused Sokka to tap his sister repetitively.

"Psst! Psst! Psst! Kuh-tar-uh!"

"What do you want?!" She yelled, throwing her arms in the air. "It's night time. Normal people sleep at this time!"

"Where's your backpack?" he asked getting out of bed.

"Outside my room. Why?" Katara sat up in her brother's bed and watched him open the door and unzip her backpack. "Hey! That's my stuff!" She jumped out of bed, tackling Sokka to the floor.

"Yeah, I know it's your stuff," he grumbled. "But I need something."

"What is it?"

"Virgin olive oil," he stated simply.

"Why in the world would you need virgin olive oil?" she asked. Sokka pushed her off of him and continued to rummage through her bag. In many sticky situations, his sister's bottomless backpack came in handy, providing many crucial items for their survival.

Finally, he pulled out a bottle of virgin olive oil, holding up in the air, as if he had just been awarded the Best Boomerang Award. "I need this to fend off the firebenders!" When he was greeted with no response he explained, "You know, virgin…" Here he pressed his hands together and bowed in a respectful manor.

"No, I don't know… Frankly, I don't want to know," Katara replied.

Sokka walked back into his room, unscrewing the bottle's cap. He poured all that was left of the oil onto the floor just outside his closet, and then putting a finger to his chin.

"I need something to spread it around," he said. "Katara, get me a mobile mop." Sokka heard his sister looking through her backpack. She walked into the dark room handing him a mini mop. He pressed a button and the small sized floor cleaner and it lengthened into a normal size. Sokka wiped the oil around, sprawling the liquid to all corners of that part of the room.

Finally, he was finished. He had set the mop nearby against the wall, and slipped back into the bed next to his sister. Sokka snuggled up to her and she made a disgusting face, pushing him almost into the bath of virgin olive oil. Open-eyed, the brother and sister looked up at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep.

"I don't think it's working, Sokka," Katara whispered, after hearing a strange, eerie sound coming from the closet.

"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing," he replied, once again getting out of bed. "C'mon. Let's get some onion seeds." Katara followed him to the kitchen.

"Onion seeds? What for?" she asked, once they got there.

Sokka opened the pantry, looking from top to bottom. "We'll plant them, and then wait for them to grow, and then put them in my room near the closet. They'll run away because the odor is sickening to them."

"There isn't a smell more sickening than your bed. I'm surprised the so called firebenders haven't moved on to another sissy."

"A ha! Here they are!" he reached his arms up to one of the taller shelves, using the very tips of his toes, and grabbed a bag. Sokka closed the pantry door, and looked at the package. He read aloud, "Onion Seeds. Tear open bag. Fill a container with dirt. Spread the seeds into the container. Poor water onto the seeds. Wait. Sounds easy enough!"

After following the directions, the siblings returned to Sokka's room with a tin foil tray filled with seeds, dirt, and water. They sat on the edge of the bed towards the closet, and waited. They waited for a long period of time. Katara removed a watch from her backpack, counting the seconds of sleep they were wasting. Sokka stared immensely at the pot-like container, waiting for something to happen.

Being the more logical one of the duo, Katara finally couldn't take it. "THIS IS CRAP!" She flipped the tray out of Sokka's hands, and into the air, then falling on the olive oil. They just stared at the even bigger mess.

"We got some ALREADY GROWN onions in the kitchen, dimwit!" She stepped over the mess and walked back to the kitchen, Sokka following her. "All we need to do is cut 'em." Katara opened a drawer. Her brother breathing down her neck, and reaching in for a need utensil.

"Spork," he began, pulling on a half-spoon half-fork. "Spork, spork, spork, spork. FORK! Spork, spork, spork, spork. SPOON! Spork, spork, spork, spork. KNIFE! Spork, spork, spork, spork. Oh wait." He went back to the knife, and closed the drawer. Katara had already pulled out a cutting board and two onions.

"Okay, stand back," Sokka said, bringing the knife over his head. Katara stepped back, and watched her brother bring the knife to the onion, but pull it back up. Then, get so close, and stop. And then finally, he brought the knife to the very edge of the onion, and pushed downwards, slicing only a thin piece.

"You are such a girl!" Katara said to him, grabbing the knife, and pushing him out of the way. "This is how you cut an onion." She held the onion with one hand and cut with the other. She sped through the onions like lightning and tossed the knife into the sink.

Katara handed Sokka five pieces, while she held another five, and walked back to his room. They spread the onion slices onto the virgin olive oil and the water and the onion seeds and the dirt. Again, they were back under the covers.

"Sokka, Sokka, SOKKA!" Katara yelled, out of no where.

He covered his ears. "WHAT?! What is it? Did you see the firebenders?"

"No, I can't fall asleep."

"Well, now you know how I feel every night with those firebending maniacs living in my closet!"

"Not the 'benders!'" she sighed. "I just can't get to sleep!"

"Turn on the T.V."

Katara decided to take her brother's advice. She searched the room for the remote, and sat on the edge of the bed, facing the television screen. She pressed the ON button and the black screen changed to one of a man holding shard objects.

"This," he said holding up the item. "Is one of the more rare knives. It can carve through the hardest of foods. Watch." The man pulled out a block of wood from under a table and began to saw through it. While all that began, some 'appropriate' background music started to play. To Katara it sounded like something straight out of a Chainsaw Massacre type movie, and it was really loud. Loud enough to blow ear drums!

"What the french fry?!" Katara yelled over the T.V. "Why is the volume so loud? And why are you watching… The Knife Show?!"

"I couldn't hear it, so I turned it up," Sokka yelled back. "The knife show is super cool! I once tried to buy a hunter's knife, but it sold out before I could even ask Dad!"

"Well, he's gonna wake up soon if he hears this! C'mon!" She grabbed a pillow, closed the bedroom door, and started to build a fort against it. Katara searched the room for more pillows and blankets and covered the door even more. "Are you just gonna watch The Knife Show and listen to Chainsaw Massacre or are you gonna help me barricade the door?!"

"Why are you barricading the door in the first place?" Sokka asked, completely unaware of Katara's reasoning.

"To stop the noise from going to Dad's room!"

"OH! Okay!" Sokka piled comfort after comforter, until nothing was left to use. He didn't even know when and why he had so many blankets…

Two pairs of eyes stared at the still loud T.V., watching The Knife Show.

"Why didn't we just turn down the volume?" Sokka asked.

Katara looked at the remote that wasn't that far away. "I don't know! It was your idea to use the pillows!"

"What?! No, it wasn't! You started it!"

"Because you were using your mind powers and tricking me into doing your bidding!"

"Mind powers? There is no such thing!"

"There isn't a thing such as firebenders either!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

All of a sudden, something opened the heavily barricaded door.

"What are you two doing?!" Hakoda stood in the doorway, his dark hair messed up and nostrils flaring. Ironically, the television's volume lowered.

The siblings looked at each other, starting to explain their sides of the night.

"Well, this dufus looked for olive oil and started to bow. And he used my mobile mop to spread it all around. Then he made onions and spread those around and firebenders and knives and sporks and seeds! HIS BED IS WET!"

"SHE'S A BIG MEANIE! She's making fun of my smell and tackling me to the floor! Then, she poured the seeds, the water, and the dirt on my floor! She turns on the T.V. because she can't get to sleep! And she doesn't believe that there are BLOOD SUCKING FIREBENDERS hiding in my closet!"

"Enough, enough!" their father yelled. "No wonder I put you in separate rooms! Stop with all this nonsense and go to—."

Just then a wall of fire hit the father, making him a barbeque dad.

"Would you people all shut up?!" a man dressed in red clothes stood in Sokka's closet, his hands holding two balls of fire. His eyes burned with hatred and annoyance. When nobody replied, the firebender slipped back into the closet, leaving an open-mouthed family speechless.

"… I told you so!"

* * *

A/n: How's that for modern? XD So yeah, I know the review button is calling to you! Oh. Please include any other questions to ask Sokka, if you have come up with any. Thanks! (: 


	9. A Carnivore's Vegetarian Shack

A/N: Hey, how's everyone been for over a month? Good, I hope! :D

I am sorry I took soooooooo long to update! First I was busy. Second I thought of this idea, but didn't know how to start it. Then I was just plain putting it off. Yesh, kasplosion can be a lazy bum. (: Well, it's here now. One thing: let's all pretend that the Avatar-verse has bathroom like they do in modern day. Hehehehe…

Disclaimer: kasplosion's To-Do list consists of: 1) Think of another situations and 2) Think of a really good disclaimer that gets the message "I do not own Avatar" across really well.

LINE HERE

_**A Carnivore's Vegetarian House**_

A loud, low rumble erupted in his ears. His face scrunched in pain and he fell to the floor in weakness. He looked up into the eyes of the Avatar, the only one who could save him.

"Aang…," Sokka groaned weakly, clutching his sides.

"What?" the Avatar replied nonchalantly. The master airbender looked down on his friend.

"I nee… I need…," the warrior whispered. "I need some food, dude!" Sokka jumped to his feet and held his hands out expectantly. "Well?"

Aang sighed, "You want me to buy you something?"

"Yes, please!" Sokka smiled, satisfied with his little act. He, of course, thought it was pure gold.

"Alrighty then!" Aang began excitedly. "Let's go to the Veggit-," he was abruptly cut off by a random outburst.

"NO! Not vegetarian food!" Sokka pleaded, like the food was some kind of deadly creature. He fell to his knees and took his friend's tattooed hands. "Anything but that poison!"

Aang broke free of the handcuffs and shot Sokka the evil eye. "Vegatarian food is not poison, Sokka. It's good, not to mention better for all the little animals!" The Avatar defended his diet proudly and with a good argument. "Did you know that hundreds of donkey-cows are slaughtered each day to make _you_ meat? Think about their cute donkey-cow families! That is--." Aang was again interrupted.

"Aaww! How sad!" the meat lover cried, rubbing his eyes, as if he was crying. "Oh well!" he cheered up instantly. He was really getting better and better at this acting stuff. "Can we go to the Meat Lovers' Buffet now?" 

"Can't you just try it?" the vegan questioned.

"No, but thanks for asking!" Sokka grinned happily.

"Fine! I won't be your friend anymore!" Aang crossed his arms angrily and stared Sokka right in the eye.

Sokka pondered this thought; _losing his best buddy… going to eat meat._ He raised right hand (representing Aang) and his left one (representing meat) as well. _Losing the world's last known airbender… gobbling down a delicious piece of donkey-cow. _He held out his hands in front of him, both at the same height. _The super powerful Avatar no longer protecting me… heaps upon heaps of meat!_ Now, his left meat hand rose a little higher than the right Aang one. Meaning meat was winning over Aang.

_My friend who is a the most powerful being on the planet who could save me—and has—from deadly life threatening deaths… a counter displaying plates who are displaying all the meat I could possibly eat in one sitting._ The left hand continued to rise in height as the right one descended quickly. Sokka's arms were stretched as far apart as he could manage. 

"Sokka!" Aang yelled in annoyance. Would he seriously pick meat over a friendship with the Avatar? _The _Avatar?! "You would choose food over me?!"

Sokka held his hands up in defense. "No, no. I'm kidding! But do I really have to eat… _your _kind of food?"

"It isn't all that bad," Aang replied. "Just this one time, pleeease?" Now Aang was the one that was begging.

"Fine, okay," the meat-loving warrior gave in. "But only because you're my friend and I would want to jeopardize our friendship! Plus, you'll be paying right?"

The Avatar nodded, a grin stretching from ear to ear. He began to walk merrily in the direction of his favorite vegetarian eating place, as Sokka followed.

The two friends arrived at the restaurant. There were some other stores more crowded than the veggie house surrounding the area. The boys headed for the entrance.

"I can't believe you talked me into eating here, where meat is restricted!" Sokka whined, clearly regretting his decision. "How can you live with yourself?"

"Being a vegetarian isn't so like a curse, Sokka," Aang replied. "Just try it. I'm sure you'll love the food!"

The stepped into the store, hit with the aroma of fresh cooking. The walls were decorated with fabrics and shelves displayed a small collection of glass pottery. There were few tables and even fewer costumers. Aang led his friend to a table that stood up against a wall. Immediately, a set of menus were stacked in front of them.

"Good afternoon, Avatar!" a young employee greeted with a smile.

Aang returned the kind gesture by smiling himself and thanking him. The waiter scurried to another table.

"What kind of food is this?!" Sokka exclaimed after scanning the menu. "Steamed artichokes? Oatmeal? Fruit salad? Soy milk? Even the dessert—tofu cheesecake! This doesn't sound so good anymore."

"It's really quite delicious!" the airbender assured.

"Oh, alright," Sokka huffed, his head in his hands. He took a second glance at the catalogue of foods.

After a few minutes of looking over the menu thoroughly, Sokka and Aang finally came to an order. The meat lover decided stuffed bell peppers would be sufficient and the vegan asked for a bowl of mushroom soup. Two glasses of rice milk (because Aang insisted) sat on the table top, Sokka staring at the white liquid.

Aang began to describe and explain a vegetarian's life style and diet. "…do not believe in eating any food that came from animals. This includes meat, fish, fowl…" The warrior's ears plugged out his friend's jibber-jabber and he was completely focused on his thoughts, which were indeed, on meat.

Soon, their entrees were placed on top of the table cloth. The Avatar thanked the water and shot straight for his spoon. He slurped up the soup and munched on the mushrooms happily.

However, Sokka stared at his food immensely. The plate displayed three peppers (colors of red, green, and yellow) and they were stuffed with other colorful vegetables and cheesy glue. 

"What is this, an art palette?!" he inquired, disrupting the costumers. He picked up his chopsticks are poked each of his three bell peppers. Cheese oozed out like volcano lava.

"Try it!" Aang pressed Sokka. He continued to eat his food, as well as wait for his friend to a take at least one bite of his own.

Sokka used his chopsticks to pick up one the stuffed peppers. He brought to eye level, and stared at it for quite some time. _Looks deadly… _he thought. But for the sake of his friendship with the monk, he tentatively took a bite. His teeth snapped off enough of the pepper to catch some of its stuffed fillings. He chewed and chewed, while Aang sat across the table hoping for the best. Sokka tasted the different flavors and spices that covered the vegetable. _Tastes deadly!_

In surprise of the horrible zest, he spat out the chewed food onto a napkin and let go of his chopsticks, which were still holding the bitten pepper. A horrified expression was glued to Sokka face, as he drank the soy milk. But realizing it was not water or a more refreshing beverage, he spewed the drink out as well. He looked around the messy table then onto the floor where the bell pepper sat.

Aang stared incredulously. 

Sokka stared stupidly.

"… Should I write an obituary?" the meat lover questioned hesitantly.

"What? No! Of course not," the Avatar replied laughing. "What for?"

"Well, I did just drop a piece of food… it's no good now!" Sokka explained. "…What?! I don't know vegetarian customs!"

"Are you saying you write obituaries when meat is dropped on the floor?" Aang asked.

"Yea… No! No! Where would you get a silly idea like that?!"

Aang smiled knowingly, and returned back to his meal. Sokka picked up his bell pepper with another napkin and excused himself from the table. He headed for the nearest bathroom. A doorway, separated from the main room with a bead curtain, lead to an entry door. It read restroom and Sokka pushed open the door.

The room was sparkling with clean white tiles and smelled of a spring's day. There were three stalls, he rushed into the one farthest from the door and latched it shut. He closed the toilet, that way he could sit on with out soiling himself. Sokka pulled out a small bag from under his Water Tribe shirt and began to drool.

He had wrapped several pieces of meat in his food stash bag. Carefully, he un-wrapped the napkin and held between his fingers a small slice of the spirit world. Without wasting any more time, Sokka gobbled down the meat in seconds. Then grabbed another piece and another! Soon his secret stash dwindled to only three pieces. He was about to swallow one whole when he heard the bathroom door swing open.

"Sokka? You okay?" It was Aang. 

Sokka had lost track of time, he must have been sitting here for a while. He looked around his area to make sure nothing could give him away—he did bring meat into a strict vegetarian restaurant. He just noticed that he still had three more pieces sitting on his lap._ What am I going to do?!_

He stood up from the toilet seat. "Yeah, Aang. I'm here," he replied, opening up the toilet cover. Sokka stared into the bowl. He was going to regret this. He was totally going to write an obituary later. The three pieces looks so delicious… He could not possibly get rid of them heartlessly! But he had to; otherwise Aang would discover his secret and give him the cold shoulder for at least forever!

Regretfully, Sokka released his meat and the splashed in the toilet with a loud _Plksh! _Tears began to form in his eyes and the sobbing kicked in.

"Are you okay in there?" the Avatar questioned, hearing the splash and the upset crying. _Sokka must have some kind of stomach pain… _Aang wondered. "Sokka?"

"Yeah, Aang…," he replied in between sniffs and tears. He wiped his eyes and calmed himself down. Once again, he looked into the toilet. He pushed down on the knob that would flush away the evidence. After one press, the water began to swirl around and the meat circled around with the flow. But, the food was still there, floating like the flush never happened. Sokka's eyes opened wide. The meat was not going away!

Now entering Panic Mode, the warriors span as much toilet paper as he could from the roll. He stuffed it down the bowl and tried to flush it again. Water began to over flow and the paper was soaked. The meat that had clogged the toilet bubbled to the surface. Sokka let out a nervous cry.

Aang pried open the locked door and saw Sokka looking over the toilet bowl. Water was spewing everywhere as paper flowed out of the seat.

"What happened?" he asked, half afraid of the answer.

"..Uhm," Sokka began, searching for an excuse. "Uhm, well… That bell pepper, it must have been bad for my digestive system… Yeah…"

"Wow, I'll go call the janitor…," Aang said, on his way out the door. Curiosity got the better of him; he peeked a look down the toilet. A dark substance swirled around in the water. One had something sticking out of it…

"What in spirits' name is that? A bone?!" the Avatar asked, clearly disgusted. He covered his eyes and headed out of the bathroom. Sokka followed him out.

"I think it's best you don't know."

Aang turned around to his friend. "Oh… Oka… What about that stuff on your face?"

The meat eater realized that he eating his secret stash must have given him a good coating of sauce. He grabbed a handful of paper towels and wiped the mess off.

"What stuff?" Sokka smiled as if he had never been eating meat in the first place and nothing had ever been on his face. He threw the towels in a nearby trash can and followed a very confused Aang back to their table.

"You want to order something else?" Aang asked when they returned to their seats.

"Uh, no. This is fine…," Sokke replied, looking at the bell peppers once again. After that first bite, peppers were not on his list of Try-These-Foods-Again list. But he was not going to ask his friend to buy him another vegetarian dish which he definitely would not eat. He would just make due with this one.

The two boys continued with their meal in peace, Aang finishing up his soup and asking for a mango as dessert, and Sokka not even picking up his chopsticks. Another idea came to mind. He was going to be hungry afterwards, that was for sure, and why waste time going to a better place when the Avatar would nag and complain telling him he should have tried his kind of food. A mischievous smile played across his face, as once again, he pulled out another hidden bad.

He un-wrapped the secret items under the table as so Aang would not suspect a thing. He stole a quick glance at the food and instantly was hypnotized. Sokka was going to do anything to eat it.

He picked up his chopsticks for the first since they had returned and poked at his peppers. He looked up to see Aang munching on his mangos. _All clear. _Sokka accidentally dropped his utensil and it fell to the floor. He bent down to retrieve it, his face below the table, and stuffed a piece of meat into his mouth. He chewed fast and swallowed hard. _What a shame; I can't savor the flavor, _Sokka whined in his mind. He picked up the chopsticks and grabbed a clean pair, again dropping it. This happened quite a few times, Sokka was quickly becoming stuffed, just like his bell peppers.

He looked down onto his lap and saw that only one piece of meat remained. He smirked deviously and wiped two sticks off the table. He watched them fall. He reached down, and grabbed the utensils and positioned them on the table. He picked up the last piece from his lap with his hands and swallowed it whole, his crime being witness by the cop!

"Sokka! Where did you get that?!" the Avatar questioned harshly. "You brought it in didn't you?! I thought you were gonna at least try vegetarian food!"

The suspect had been arrested. There was no way getting out of this one.

"Okay, you caught me, Aang! But I simply cannot eat this this… this stuff!" Sokka replied.

"Well how much more you got! I can't let anyone here find out meat's been smuggled in! They'll kick me out!"

"Kick you out? You the Avatar? How can they kick out the Avatar?" He threw his arms in the air. The warrior overlooked one tiny thing: he was holding another meat piece in his hand.

Aang gasped, "Sokka! Get tha--."

"AAH! MEAT!" the customers spotted the morsel of meat in Sokka's hands. They entered Mean Mode.

"This is a vegetarian house! You don't bring meat in here!"

"Avatar Aang, how could you bring in the other kind?!"

The two boys were now backed up against a wall surrounded by angry vegetarians. Sokka was still holding his food and Aang was terrified by his own people.

"Thanks a lot," the younger of the two said, disappointed. They were sitting on the curbside, about three blocks away from the restaurant.

"You brought meat in a vegetarian house. The only vegetarian house in the whole Earth Kingdom! Now what am I supposed to eat?"

"Meat, of course!" Sokka replied matter-a-factly.

Aang shot him a death glare. "What part of veg-et-ar-ian do you not understand?"

"I understand every bit of it!"

"Do you even know what it means?"

"Yes! It means you don't eat… meat… Oh… Sorry."

"Yeah."

LINE HERE

A/N: Haha! Funneh, yeah? Hehehe. This was so fun to write, although I was in a rush.

Thanks to everyone who submitted their questions to ask Sokka! If you have any more ideas, just tell me. BUT YOU ARE NOT REQUIRED TO DO SO! Okay, that is all.


	10. Papaya

A/N: Hi ya, guys! Happy April Fools' Day! Prank anyone? I did! MWAHAHAHA!

So I decided to give you a little something, today being a holiday and all! I didn't do one for St. Patricks' Day, Valentines' Day, Martin Luther King Day, not even Memorial Day! … Oh wait, that hasn't come yet. This is real short, and I didn't put much effort into it. I wrote it in less than two hours. I think it came out okay, though. Enjoy! (:

Disclaimer: I OWN Avatar! I made up everything! I live in the Nickelodeon studios, too! APRIL FOOLS! haha, I got you!

L I N E H E R E

_Papaya_

Aang had a terrible problem on his hands. A _horrible _situation, to be exact. He needed to plan this out perfectly; any flaw could ruin the balance of the whole world! Well, at least his own little world. After many migraines and headaches later, the boy came up with a plan… to KILL her! Cue dramatic music. The overdose of horror films had definitely gotten to him. Aang decided to go on a quest, searching for the only one who could help him. Little did he know, this "guru" of his, wasn't the best, he wasn't even officially qualified!

A man with a beard sat cross-legged on a carpet of cushions. The bald boy approached tentatively, hoping not to disturb the solitude the wise man was meditating in. He tip-toed his way to the professor of sorts, not even making a sound.

"Why is it you have come?" the man intrigued, opening his eyes. It was as if he were physic!

"I need some advice…," Aang started, not questioning his awesome abilities.

"Yes, what is it?"

"There's this girl…"

"Ahh, that Water Tribe lass. Quite a skipper."

Aang raised an eyebrow to that remark. It was very strange for Katara's own brother to say such an unusual comment about her. And what was with the weird vocabulary?

"Sokka, help me! I think I need to confess my undying love to Katara!" the monk cried out.

This did not surprise the older boy disguised as an all-knowing guru in the least bit. He had know about the Avatar's little crush on his little sister since the beginning of time! … Actually, it was when Toph told him a few months back. That was beside the point. Sokka was going to help his dear friend Aang with winning the heart of Katara and all would prevail! This would totally go down in the history books.

"I will help you, young airbender, on one condition…," he began in tone that just screamed, 'Believe me and Katara is yours.' Sokka motioned for Aang to lean in closer, what he was about to tell him, it would not be tolerated if any eaves droppers discovered their plot.

Many whispers later…

"Of course it'll work, Aang!" Sokka said, giving the young boy courage. "Katara _loves _jokes! Belive me, I know!"

"Okay… If you say so…," the monk replied, still not convinced. He walked out of the room, telling himself what the plan was and to remember every single detail.

As soon as Aang left and was out of ear shot, a mysterious figure stepped out of the shadows.

"He fell for it," the person said.

"Sure did!" the Water Tribe boy smiled happy. "And I get to wear the suit. Sweet deal!"

"You are so pathetic, Snoozles," the voice replied. "You dress up as a guru or whatever and decorate your floor with pillows! I bet you were gonna fall asleep right when Twinkle Toes came! Good thing I hit you with that pebble, otherwise you wouldn't appear as a bigger dork."

"Hey, that was no pebble! It was more like a boulder!" Sokka protested. The duo left the area, bickering.

A few days later…

The Water Tribe teenager strolled down the street peacefully, smelling the sweet spring air. She was on her way to the market. Aang had told her to meet her there, said he wanted to show her a special fruit. She was about five blocks away from the market when she had that feeling. The feeling where someone is following you.

Katara peeked a quick look behind her, and sure enough someone was walking right behind her. She gasped. Her step quickened to a fast past. A bead of sweat dribbled down the side of her face. Something horrible was stalking her. She turned a corner abruptly, hoping to loose the stalker.

The thing was right on her tail. It wobbled with incredible speed to catch up with the girl. It was a giant fruit, a creepy smile painted where its face might be, and wild eyes looking straight at her. On the inside, it cackled a somewhat evil laugh—coughing and clogging its throat in the process. It kept up with the girl.

Katara looked back one more time, finding that her predator had caught up. It was within grasp of grabbing her by her braid. Hesitantly, she turned around, facing the menace.

"Who are you, Papaya? Who sent you?" she questioned, trying her best to hide her fear. Ever since she was a little girl, papayas always had been her least favorite fruit.

"The question is: Who are _you_?" it replied.

"No, no, no. I asked first."

"I am more bigger. Answer me!!"

"That doesn't matter!"

"It does!"

"Enough!" the papaya yelled, clearly irritated. "Take this, you pond scum!" The arms of the fruit flew out in front of it, as if pushing a large box. At that moment, a gust of wind seemed to have blown for its fingertips and send Katara flying to a wall.

She recovered easily from the attack, but a horrified expression was glued to her face. It was that day so many years ago! She could not relive it, not again! She ran off in fear, forgetting about Aang and the market.

"April Fools'!" a voice called out to her. Too bad she wasn't using her senses.

Back at the scene, the papaya's "head" was taken off. Inside stood a content Sokka. He was grinning from ear to ear.

"That doesn't look like she likes pranks." Aang stepped out of a nearby alley.

"Don't let this fool you, Twinkle Toes." Toph had suddenly appeared out of thin air. "Katara is very good at concealing her true feelings. You'll see, when she tells you all about this little episode."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," the partners in crime reassured simultaneously.

L I N E H E R E

A/N: hahaha. I have been meaning to do something about Katara's dislike for papayas. hehehe. so, I'm working on the next situation—I've got it all planned out! … well most of it anyways. It's gonna be funneh! yay!

also, you got any more questions to ask Sokka? Just keep that in the back of your head, and tell me when you think of anything. thanks! (:


	11. Monologuing Problems

A/n: so... how's everyone been for about three months? as for me, i've been lazy. :D i'm sorry i've been so neglectful. i started writing, but it kinda backfired and i kinda got even more lazy (like that's even possible.)... yep, but i finally updated! huuray!

and didn't Sozin's Comet just blow your mind? too bad, Tokka didn't happen. T-T let's hope for a new series! (:

Disclaimer: Do you really think that after three months I have obtained ownership of Avatar?

--

_Monologuing Problems_

The crisp, cool smell of the air. The ever present shining sun. The dew glued onto the grass in the morning. The flowers blooming. The bees collecting honey. The couples holding hands in the parks. That time of year had come once again; Spring. And that's only part of the best.

The rainbows leading to a pot of gold! Or, as I like to think of it, leading to a pot of treasure. A treasure chest of meat. The greatest thing to have ever graced this earth. The only thing keeping me alive, you know, besides my lungs, and heart, and uh, boomerang. Yeah, that's a big reason as to why I'm still breathing. Otherwise, who knows what would be creeping behind me and I wouldn't have anything to throw at it! Nightmare, I know. But you get used to it when you are who I am.

'Cuz, I'm, like, the guy everyone wants to be. The guy who happens to know the Avatar. The guy who has a meteorite--as in, rock from outer space--sword. The guy who's jokes are so hilarious, it leaves everyone who hears them speechless. The guy who planned the Invasion on The Day of Black Sun (yep, that's me, who wants my autograph?). The guy who's pretty masculine, if he says so himself. At any given moment, I could twist your arm and break you into teeny, tiny pieces. It's a force of reflex. I'm a moose-cougar! Don't mess with me, or you'll end up in the-

"Ow! Ow! OW!" I found myself lying on the cold, cold earth, head throbbing. "What was that for?!"

"You were monologuing again, Meat Head," I heard a voice say somewhere to my left.

"No, I wasn't!" I protested, looking up to see Toph.

"You were," Zuko said.

"And you couldn't twist my arm even if I let you," Toph said.

"Watch me!" I rushed forward, lunging out to the little blind girl. My arm was outstretched and just about to grab hold of her arm when her hand was forcefully pressed against my forehead. Before I knew it, I was on the ground once again.

"Hah," she mocked me.

I quickly recovered and stood tall. "Pshaw. Pfft. Psh. Pfffft. I was, uhh, saving my energy. Yeah. Saving my energy."

"For what?" Zuko asked. I could tell he was trying not to laugh.

"Yeah, Mister I'm-the-guy-everyone-wants-to-be," Toph said, "saving your energy for what?"

"For, uhh, for..." And that's when I remembered what I was monologuing - I mean pondering about within the privacy of my own mind. "I'm going on a dangerous journey," - I spotted the colorful arc in the distance and all that stood between me and it - "through the dense forest, past the rickety bridge, over a treacherous mountain, and then finally arriving at my destination."

"And where might that be? A rain - "

"To the end of the rainbow!" I finished, slinging a pack over my shoulder. "Who's with me?"

Both Zuko and Toph were speechless. They must really think this idea of mine is brillia... And that's when they entered a fit of cackles.

"Fine. Don't come. Who wants to make memories with you two anyway?"

And the laughing continued.

"Be that way. But don't come crying to me when you miss out on the _pot of gold._ See ya!" I started off towards the rainbow as the giggling subsided. A smirk tugged at my lips. I just knew the mention of some sort of prize would get them to come. Hopefully they won't remember what really is at the end of...

I turned around to see them staring at me.

"I was talking outside of my mind again, wasn't I?"

"We prefer monologuing."

"Now, what's this about a pot of gold?"

"_Weeeell..."_

_One trek through a dense forest full of near death experiences later..._

"How did you talk me into going on this stupid, pointless 'journey' to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?" Toph inquired as she dusted various insects off her torso.

"I didn't force you to come," I pointed out.

"But you are the reason why we willingly joined you," Zuko said.

"Like I said, I didn't force you to come. Besides that jungle was nothing. Just a few carnivorous plants, growling tiger-lions, blood sucking bugs, booby traps, and creepy noises. If we can survive that, then certainly we can make it across a rickety ol' bridge!"

The three of us reached the only link connecting a cliff side to another, with a deadly fall below. The thing was practically a string with only a few planks hanging on by a thread.

"Does that scream deathtrap, or is it just me?" I whimpered, stepping back.

"It's just you," both of them said.

"Really? Well, I don't see any other wa..."

An earth bridge slithered out of the cliff giving us a perfectly safe way across. Pretty nifty having an earthbender as a friend.

"Nice job, Toph," I said as I stepped onto the makeshift bridge. "Complete with safety precautions." I ran my hand along the small wall keeping me from plunging to my death.

At that moment, the barrier shifted lower and maybe I lost my footing and maybe I flailed my arms like a mad person and maybe a shrilled scream escaped from my mouth. Maybe.

"Try being careful," Zuko advised as he walked past me.

"Was it my fault the wall fell down? ... Okay that doesn't make sense, but it wasn't me! Toph is out to get me I tell you!"

"Everyone's out to get you, Scaredy Cat. Move it." Toph pushed me forward very forcefully and I almost fell flat on my face.

"You are officially on my 'These People Suck and Don't Appreciate Me Enough' list. You better watch your back."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

_One really bad encounter with an angry pack of platypus-hedgehogs later..._

The sun had set and the moon had risen and we had settled at the base of the treacherous mountain I mentioned earlier. We were all sore from our little, uhh, confrontation with some agitated platypus-hedgehogs. They just attacked and left us to tending our minor wounds. Zuko started a fire and I passed out the seal jerky. How Katara got a hold of a bag of these in the middle of the Earth Kingdom and how I hid them without the platypus-hedgehogs snatching them, I'll never know.

"So, is this rainbow even visible anymore?" Toph asked.

"Of course! Rainbows hang in the sky, dark or light, for at least 72 hours," I explained. "What kind of idiot doesn't know that?"

"What kind of idiot _does_ know that?" she retorted.

I had to give her props. I walked right into that one. Note to self; sharpen "Toph's Gonna Tease Me If I Say This" senses.

"You're just jealous that you don't understand the complexity of rainbowology." I smiled smugly.

"You just made that up, didn't you?" Zuko said.

"Can't either of you let me by happy for once?"

Zuko glanced at her while Toph turned her head in his general direction, making it look like they were exchanging a look. "No."

"I'm going to bed." I flopped down on my soft sleeping bag and listened to the eerie sounds radiating from just about everywhere. No need to fear though, I've got two powerful benders with me and a warm source of light that won't go out under any circumstances because Zuko is the best campfire maker I've ever met. Yep, I'm perfectly safe where I am. Just think happy thoughts. _Meat... __Rainbows... Meat... No Darkness... Completely safe... Meat... The fire going out... Mea- The fire going out?! _

I looked around me and saw nothing. Nothing but darkness engulfing me!

"Guys? Some firebending would be nice right about now, Zuko... Toph? Come earthbend a fortress of safteyness..." I called out, scared out of my wits. "... Please?"

"HAHAHA!"

Just then, the fire was lit and I could see again. I could see the firebender laughing his butt off.

I shot him a death glare.

"Now both of you are on my 'These People Suck and Don't Appreciate Me Enough' list."

_One perfectly NOT safe night with two "friends" who try way too hard to scare me into a coma later..._

"Okay, seriously, you guys. Lay off all the pranks." I was prepared to resort to begging. "Let's just get to the rainbow," I grumbled, beginning to regret ever embarking on our quest.

"You're the one who slept in this morning, _Snoozles._"

I ignored Toph and packed away my cot heading straight towards the mountain. Zuko and Toph were right behind me. The worn out path traveled up the peak and down the opposite side. It was getting steeper and, frankly, I was getting tired. I mean who hikes up a treacherous mountain this early in the morning without having so much as leftover seal jerky as nourishment? I'll tell you who: Not me.

"Okay," I huffed, "who wants to take a short break?" I stopped walking and leaned over my knees, catching my breath.

"Tired already? We've only been walking for about five minutes. I'm not stopping now, we've come too far. I just wanna get this over with," Zuko said.

"Yeah, stop being lazy and let's go," Toph chimed in.

"Ya know what would be great right about now?" I said as I started walking again. "Appa. We'd already be at the rainbow and back if we had taken him."

We all breathed in a collective sighed. At least there was one thing we could agree on.

Over the next half hour or so, we climbed up the mountain, climbed down the mountain (or in my case, _rolled _down the mountain, because _someone _tripped me), and followed an even more beat up path.

"Look! There it is! I see the rainbow!" I exclaimed after awhile.

The arc of colors was painted across the sky and the end was nearby. I could already smell the meat.

"Finally!" Toph groaned.

"Well, it's about time," Zuko moaned.

"I'll race ya!" I took off, lightning fast towards the treasure, my companions right on my tail.

I swung out my sword to block them from passing me, but Zuko jumped over me, quite gracefully, and Toph just encased me in an earth box. She ran past me and pulled the earth back into the ground. Man, you'd think they'd cut a guy like me some slack. I guess knowing the Avatar isn't enough when all of your friends know the Avatar just as well as you. Meh. This isn't fair.

I struggled to catch up to the benders, but I was already too late. They had already arrived at the end of the rainbow. It radiated glowing colors and smelled of fresh squeezed lemonade (it is Spring after all). The pot was huge and glossy. I panted when I reached our destination.

When I caught my breath I began with a speech, "We made it through a jungle of deadly creatures, crossed a life threatening canyon-like canyon, climbed the treacherous mountain, and - "

"Open the pot already!" both commanded simultaneously.

"Okay, okay. Patience is a virtue, ya know." I clasped onto the pot lid and twisted with all my might. Have you ever tried to open a pot of treasure at the end of a rainbow? Lemme tell you, not easy. It's like trying to open a pickle jar or something like that. My hands sprouted blisters and I strained myself not to give up. After awhile, the lid started to budge. I gasped with excitement and saw that Zuko and Toph joined in the cause. I smiled. Finally, something we can do together without arguing.

"What are you doing, daydreaming, Snoozles? Me and Hot Head are doing all the work!"

Spoke too soon.

Slowy, we cracked open the pot of ultimate treasure and a funky colored light beamed towards the sky. The three of us fell to the floor and were hit with a sweet aroma.

"What is that smell?" I wondered aloud.

We stuck our heads into the pot to find...

"Cookies?!"

The treasure was freshly baked cookies. Not meat, but a delightful surprise. I grabbed one and stuffed it into my mouth.

"Mmm..." I think my eyes glazed over and drool dripped down my chin. "These are the best cookies I have ever tasted," I exclaimed reaching for a handful.

Toph and Zuko followed suit, glazed eyes, drool, and all. Or maybe that was the awesomeness of the pastries clouding my judgement.

"I can't believe we went on this stupid 'adventure' just for some cookies," Toph said after a few bites.

"Some really yummy delicious cookies," I pointed out.

"But still," Zuko agreed, "kinda pointless."

"No! Nothing is pointless!" I yelled, holding up a cookie over all our heads. "If anything, we learned more about each other."

"We did?"

"... Okay, no not really," I replied. "But I learned that you guys will do anything for me, because we are..." I stopped for dramatic effect. "... Two Peas in a Pod!"

"That doesn't make any sense, stupid," the earthbender retorted.

"There're three of us," the firebender said.

"It does _so _make sense. And I know there are three of us," I replied. "You two are the peas, and I'm the pod that holds us together!" I grinned.

"Logical reasoning."'

_Finally, _they understand me and my thoughts. It totally makes sense... Right?!

... Hey! Where's the meat?! The rainbow gave me cookies instead of meat! What kind of world do we live in when we don't find our favorite food in a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? A sick, twisted one! Geez, you'd think the universe would give me a happy ending with my meat after everything these brats put me through the past two days!

... I'm monologuing again aren't I?

"Ye-up."

--

A/n: good? yes, no, maybe so? sorry if it's kinda, ya know, suckish. i just really wanted to post something and here it is. "D

one bit of info: i may not be updating all the often any more (like i ever did.). i'm just not into writing this oneshots anymore. don't get me wrong, i love Sokka and all his wacky situations, but i've got a lot on my plate. even if i'm the one who put all those new story ideas there. good news is i still have a few sitches in mind for Sokka, and i will definitely write them. i just dont know when...

last thing: any more questions, comments, and/or concerns for Sokka? send 'em in! (:


	12. Court Case

a/n: a few things before the story starts...

one; i bet you guys are really surprised that i've updated, huh? well, if you're happy about that, then i've got some good news! as of last week, i have decided to update Sokka Situations more and more! i've got some cool ideas for Sokka, but suggestions/requests are nice. those give me an obligation to work for you guys.

two; october 12 - october 18 is Kasplangy Week! what is that, you ask? why, it's the celebration of my friendship with Tang Si Ming-Yue! that's right, it's been one year since i started PMing her! awesome, right?

three; i mean no offense to Sokka or his fans. it's just a story, okay?

: : :

Dedicated to Tangy, hopefully she'll laugh her butt off and forget how mean I was to Sokka in this sitch.

_Court Case_

At the international Avatar convention, loads of fans showed up. Each character got a table of their own. Sokka decided he deserved a lot of spotlight, so he set up his booth in the middle of the convention. When the fans spilled in, a good amount lined up in front of Sokka. He was glee throughout the first half of the day.

He held up his hands as he announced, "I know you all love me, but it's time for a break. I'll be back!"

The girls screamed abnormally high pitched notes and tried to keep the Water Tribe warrior with them. Sokka grinned as he managed to get out of the mob alive. He headed for the cafeteria, passing Zuko's lively stand. He pushed his way through the masses of girls. Once he was free, a thought dawned on him as he glowered at the firebender and his dozens of fans. Sokka stomped off in a huff.

: : : :

"YOU!" Sokka shrieked when a messy-haired, tattered clothed wearing Zuko walked in. "You traitor!"

Zuko groaned, "First your sister and now you! Give me a break!"

"I thought you were my friend!"

"I am!"

"Then stop being so…" Sokka struggled for the right word, "…appealing!"

"…What?"

"Sokka," Katara said, "What's this about?"

"Zuko! It's his fault!"

"What did I do?!"

"You have more fangirls than me!"

"…"

"You are not better than me! I'm more awesome than you! And because it _seems_ like you have more fans, I'm suing you!"

"WHAT?!"

"That's right, be afraid! My lawyer's Aang—"

"How did I get in the middle of this?"

"—And an assassin: Toph!"

"Sweetness."

"I even have a secret spy! But I won't tell you who he-slash-she is, 'cause it's a secret!"

"Katara, right?"

"PSH, NO!" Sokka protested, suddenly shifty-eyed, "Katara isn't secret _OR_ a spy."

"…"

"I'll see you in court!" Sokka shouted, pointing menacingly at Zuko.

:

Zuko was not worried about the "trial;" Katara—Sokka had recruited her to be judge—Aang, being the moron's "lawyer," and Toph, as the only member of the jury, thought that Sokka was completely out of his mind. Besides, it wasn't like there were any _real_ consequences.

"Alright, let's get this over with," Katara said, clearly not wanting to be at the head of the room.

"Kataraaah!" Sokka whinned. "Say your lines!"

She sighed, "Order in the court. Sokka of the Water Tribe is suing Zuko of the Fire Nation for having more fangirls than him. Sokka state your case."

Sokka stood up and cleared his throat. "I used to hate Zuko, but then he turned good and helped us take down Ozai, so we became 'friends.' And everything's going good, but _NOOO!_ He's gotta have more fans of the female variety! I don't think that's right!" He sat down, obviously pleased with himself.

"Zuko," Katara prompted, waving her hand nonchalantly.

"One; it isn't my fault girls like me more." He was smug about it. "And two; Sokka's crazy. This trial doesn't even make any sense!" The firebender slouched into his chair.

"What's next—evidence?" Katara pondered, losing interest by the second.

"Girls feel the need to comfort him because he's got that screwed up family," Sokka started, "So what? I lost my mother at a very young age _AND_ my father went off to war!"

"My sister's psychotic, my mother left, and my father is a monster. I'm pretty sure that tops your sob story."

"…" Sokka did not have a counter example ready. "Number two! Benders seem to get a bit more love than the warriors around here. That doesn't seem fair at all! Sure, Zuko has fire, but I've got a boomerang, a club, and a _space sword_—does he have a space sword? I didn't think so!"

"I have two broad swords, moron."

You could see the fumes rising from Sokka's head.

"Just continue and finish, please, Sokka," Katara said in an irritated tone.

"My last piece of evidence is…" He pulled out photographs of Zuko and himself shirtless.

"…"

"What is it?" Toph asked.

Slightly disgusted, Zuko answered, "They're pictures of me and Sokka without shirts…"

Toph wolf-whistled.

"What do those have to do with anything?" Aang voiced the question everyone was thinking.

"I have _randomly_"—the way he said it meant he did not do anything randomly—"chosen three fangirls from the convention." Sokka explained as said girls strolled in the mock courtroom. "Now girls," he said almost suave-like, "which guy is more attractive?"

Each one pointed at the firebender's topless body, eyes glazed and mouth drooling.

Zuko, Katara, Aang, and Toph snickered.

Sokka gaped. "Who—Why—How—?"

"Zuko fangirls," one responded.

"Heard about you suing our precious Zuko—HOW DARE YOU!"

"We told your fans you would spend an entire weekend with them."

Sokka groaned, "_Great_!"

"You girls can leave now," Katara instructed. The girls obeyed, taking the shirtless Zuko with them.

"So, we'll give Toph a few minutes to make her decision."

The earthbender left the room. Inconspicuously, Sokka followed her out.

He laced his hands together, and started to beg. "You know he's guilty, Toph, _you know it_! You're on my side, right, Toph, right? You're on my side. You're going to punish him. Not me. Zuko's guilty, and I'm right. I always. Okay, Toph?" There was a sparkle in his eyes; like he was only 99.9 percent sure the blind girl was on hi side. That last .01 percent was threatening if Toph was in the picture.

She pretended to not pay attention to him as she said "Sure, sure."

Sokka slumped his shoulders in relief. "Cool. Thanks, Toph." He strolled back into the main room like he owned the place.

Soon after the Water Tribe member left, the Fire Lord stepped in.

"Toph, you're not really going through with this, are you?" he questioned.

"Maybe," she said, "maybe not." A playful smile danced on her face.

"He's crazy! Who sues someone for having a lot of fans?! It doesn't make any sense!" Zuko leaned down to whisper in her ear, "And, I think his cactus juice had something to do with this. Sokka's paranoid!"

"I couldn't agree more," was all she said.

: : : :

"Okay, Toph," Katara said when everyone returned. "What's the verdict?"

Both Sokka and Zuko beamed, thinking they had won the case. They were too busy relishing the moment to think about who exactly Toph was, and what she does for a living: torture people.

Toph smiled mischievously. "_Weeeell_," she drew out the syllable for effect, "They're both idiots"—at this point, two draws dropped—"so I sentence them both to a week of awkward talk with each other!"

The older boys started shouting indecent and unintelligent obscenities.

Aang bounded Zuko's hand behind his back with ice and cuffed Sokka's with earth. He pushed the two roughly out of the room, obviously happy with the outcome of the trial.

"When did you become the executioner?!" Sokka yelled.

"You have the right to remain silent," the Avatar countered, grinning.

"That doesn't make any sense!" Zuko shrieked at the top of his lungs, fed up with the whole ordeal.

At that moment, a wave of realization broke on Sokka.

"I haaate making small talk with Zuko!"

: : : :

a/n: the Sokka/Zuko "ship" amuses me. XD

HAPPY KASPLANGY WEEK TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! (:


End file.
